tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23745954366867407662024-03-05T01:08:33.037-08:00First CatechistsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-48280333135941775182017-06-12T15:54:00.001-07:002017-06-12T16:00:08.101-07:00How can I help you?It has been nearly three long years since I have blogged. I am presently between parishes right now and want to know if I can be of service to you and your parish. Do you want someone to write and/or lead a retreat for you? Do you want someone to offer a workshop on parents as primary catechists, special needs catechesis, or catechist training? Does a parent group or baptismal prep class want a discussion on what it means to serve as a child's primary catechist? I am happy to do this in person and online. I also write a large variety of materials based on needs. Please view my <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0GoPrq1yM2pclhTOERpTVBWcVU/view?usp=sharing">portfolio of catechetical samples</a> to see the various types of activities I have written over the years.<br />
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You may reach me at <a href="mailto:firstcatechist@gmail.com">firstcatechist@gmail.com</a> . I look forward to hearing from you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-87082473060444291052014-09-11T18:29:00.000-07:002014-09-11T18:33:36.990-07:00CATECHIST RESOURCE: Last Supper Skit/Reenactment <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">A few days ago a friend texted me. Her friend teaches junior high RE and needed a skit for the Last Supper. She was struggling and really liked what I had done with pre-K and Kindergarten students at her church over the summer so she asked Amy to contact me. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">For those of you familiar with Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, I did a modified version of The Cenacle presentation for Level I. These students had no CGS background so after presenting it, I had them return to their seats and draw pictures of themselves. Then, we placed their pictures around the set up Cenacle figures and discussed how that was what it would be like when they received First Communion. I touched on some themes from the Eucharistic Presence of the Good Shepherd without bringing in the shepherd imagery and all of those materials as well. It was a part of a 5-day VBS program and I only had 2 hours to cover the Eucharist with these kids.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">I wanted something that bridged the Last Supper with the Mass. As a gift to you, <a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B0GoPrq1yM2pS0NsdXRCdzYwQVk/edit" target="_blank">here is what I came up with</a>. I hope you enjoy it and share it with your DRE, catechist friends, etc. If you get a chance to do the skit, I am hoping you would record it and get parent permission for me to post it here. Just send your You Tube videos of the skit to firstcatechist@gmail.com </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">I know this isn't really a "parent" issue but I figured many of you might be catechists or have a homeschool group who would enjoy doing this.</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Thanks for reading and God bless! </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-67523973755767385142014-09-11T17:43:00.002-07:002014-09-11T17:43:50.096-07:00 Sacramental prep yearNow that school, homeschooling, and religious education are back in full swing, I imagine a good percentage of you have children receiving sacraments this year. Regardless of their age and whether it's First Reconciliation and First Eucharist or Confirmation or all 3, I wanted to talk about what you can do to be an active participant in the experience.<br />
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Sadly, many parishes do not have programs, curricula, etc. in place that intimately involve the parents in the formal preparation for these sacraments. The bulk of prep will take place in the classroom and maybe there will be a retreat or a few other meetings/events/prayer services, but that's about it. I, myself, will be preparing twenty 8th graders at my parish for Confirmation using the new program <a href="http://dynamiccatholic.com/confirmation/" target="_blank">Decision Point</a> from The Dynamic Catholic Institute. My kids will go on a retreat, but most all the prep will be done in class. I am still discerning how I want to go about engaging the parents more after Christmas when we begin most of the formal preparation for Confirmation. I'll keep you posted as I go along!<br />
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Regardless of whether or not your parish has a lot of activities set up for you and your child to do together, this is a great time to make some extra time for your child. Regardless of which sacrament(s) your child is preparing for, here are some ideas.<br />
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If your child is around 2nd grade age you can:<br />
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<ul>
<li>After Mass, have him/her draw a picture of the gospel and discuss that picture with him/her.</li>
<li>Spend a few minutes each week talking with your child about the Eucharist. Have them ask their questions and if they don't know, research an answer and get back to them! </li>
<li>When your child is in trouble, use those moments to lovingly discuss Reconciliation and explain how important it will be for him/her to apologize to God as well so he/she can do better next time. </li>
<li>Work on memorizing prayer/songs like the Gloria or Nicene Creed. Learn 2-3 lines each week and discuss what they mean as you go.</li>
<li>Go to Eucharistic Adoration. Even if it's just for 10-15 minutes once or twice a month, that special quiet time with your child in the Lord's Presence will benefit your entire family!</li>
<li>Invite your priest for dinner. Have your child help prepare the meal. Ask your priest to tell you about his First Communion. (You could also do this with your child's catechist, DRE or a deacon at the parish.)</li>
<li>Record some children's shows on <a href="http://www.ewtn.com/TV/kids/index.asp" target="_blank">EWTN</a> and view them together. </li>
<li>Get a book of the saints and read about a saint together each night. Ask that saint to pray for your child. </li>
<li>Create a huge Eucharist collage on butcher paper. Start by gluing down an image of the Last Supper. Each week, add 1 or more new images: Catholic friends, family members, fellow parishioners, local clergy or religious, etc. If possible, use photos from their First Communions. Make sure to include saints and deceased relatives. Talk about how all these people are part of the Eucharist each and every week. Put the collage in your child's bedroom. Put a photo of your child somewhere in the house. Have that photo travel a few inches or feet closer to the Eucharist each week. It'll be a great visual countdown! The morning of their First Eucharist, they can move the photo onto the collage. </li>
</ul>
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If your child is closer to 8th grade you can:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Read the readings (or just the gospel) before Mass and discuss it on the drive/walk to church.</li>
<li>Make a Holy Hour once/month or so.</li>
<li>Receive Reconciliation with him/her every 1-2 months. </li>
<li>Each week pick a Gift or Fruit of the Holy Spirit. Discuss what it means, how to live it out, how you've experienced it that week, etc. There are 16 total, so after you've gone through each of them, go through them again. You can probably get through each one 2 or 3 times before Confirmation so they'll really get to comprehend how the Holy Spirit is active in his/her life.</li>
<li>Pick 3 or 4 saints your son/daughter is interested in or might feel a connection to. Read about their lives together and/or read some of their writings. If your child is expected to pick a saint's name for Confirmation, this will help immensely with the decision process.</li>
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Regardless of the age of your child, as a family you can:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Create a special prayer table or add special items to your current prayer table that will help remind everyone to pray especially for the child preparing. This could include: a photo of that child, his or her baptismal candle, or his/her artwork depicting the sacrament(s) being prepared for.</li>
<li>Attend daily Mass once/week (in addition to Sunday and Holy Days)</li>
<li>Attend Mass on the Feast Day of your child's patron saint. </li>
<li>Find service projects to do as a family such as making cards for parishioners who are homebound, preparing a meal at a homeless shelter, or doing house or yardwork for an elderly neighbor. </li>
</ul>
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Don't get me wrong, many of these are suggestions I hope you might use at any time in your child's life. However, I know that during this special, holy, exciting year you may be looking to do something extra, new or different. I hope my suggestions help! What things have you done at home or, if you're a catechist, what things have you suggested parents do at home, to help better prepare a child for the sacraments? </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-52758326044309217072014-09-11T16:42:00.001-07:002014-09-11T16:42:13.302-07:00I'm baaaaaaaackDear Readers,<br />
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Sorry for the nearly 2 month hiatus. It's been crazy! What have I been up to? On a personal front, I was dealing with some (minor) health issues which seem to have resolved themselves after eliminating all corn from my diet. My brother is allergic to corn and it seemed I was developing some aversions. I've just been getting my energy back to normal the past 2-3 weeks and sleeping through the night. HURRAY!<br />
Professionally, I was applying for and interviewing for a number of ministry jobs. Sadly, none panned out but I'm trusting it's for a reason. Writing-wise, I've been working with the USCCB to figure out some licensing issues. I have a few things I am looking into getting self-published, but still need to get that squared away. I will also be contacting my bishop, but since my materials are more spiritual than catechetical in nature they likely will not require the imprimatur. Blog-wise, I'm still in need of a better computer. I am using a laptop provided by friends (which is terrific!), but it needs to be plugged in and doesn't hold a charge. This means if I accidentally shift and unplug something, I lose a bit of work (I'm becoming OCD about saving due to this!). It also means if I go to the library, Starbucks, etc. to work and can't find a place near an outlet, I'm out of luck.<br />
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So, I've had a lot of stuff on my plate but now want to get back to making this a priority. With school back underway, it's easier for me to keep a schedule. In addition to my several part-time jobs, I am teaching 8th grade RE at my parish and will be preparing an 18 year-old with moderate special needs for RCIA. I cannot wait to see how that goes!<br />
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And now, back to business as usual on First Catechist!<br />
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Love and prayers,<br />
First CatechistAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-41520439945094708792014-07-13T13:26:00.000-07:002014-07-13T13:26:03.614-07:00Radical Ideas?I'm realizing that some of you must think I am crazy. In an <a href="http://firstcatechists.blogspot.com/2014/05/roles-of-pastors-dres-and-others.html" target="_blank">earlier post</a>, I made some radical suggestions. Do away with Children's Liturgy of the Word? Abolish nurseries and cry rooms? Get rid of the convenience of Sunday morning religious education classes? I think it's important you see how these issues have been addressed on Catholic blogs and in Catholic publications in recent years. Every post I've read validates what I have experienced as an aunt and stepmom or heard from dozens, if not hundreds, of parents I have worked with over the years.<br />
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As you see how many others agree with me about the concerns on these programs, I hope you can come to appreciate my vision for parish reform. None of these changes need to take place overnight. In fact, they should be part of a 3, 5 or 10 year vision (depending how much reform you feel is necessary in your parish) to change the minds and hearts of parents while offering them tools and practical alternatives. I also think you see it's important to truly evaluate if these programs and ideas are more for parental convenience or are truly in the best spiritual interests of the children in your parish.<br />
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In this post I'll address each of these topics as well as link to other Catholic authors and bloggers who have addressed these topics.I don't agree 100% with each link I post, but it will offer a varied perspective. I will also provide practical alternatives so if/when your parish decides a change is needed, they have some practical ideas to build their plan. Brace yourself- I'm going to provide tons of links in this post. If you agree with me, great. If you are skeptical, the links are there so you can read/see what others are saying.<br />
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Last year, the Catholic blogosphere blew up with comments after <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/deaconsbench/2013/04/why-dont-parents-take-screaming-babies-out-of-church/" target="_blank">Deacon Greg addressed the sensitive topic of dhildren crying during Mass</a>. I followed his page and <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/barefootandpregnant/2013/04/screaming-babies-in-mass-and-on-the-internet.html" target="_blank">several others</a> in the coming days as they wrote about this frustrating topic. No one likes a screaming child during Mass, but we need to know, accept, and appreciate that babies cry. Loudly. Suddenly. For no reason at all. Parents need to be able to discern when their child needs a 5 minute time out in the back of church or when a pacifier, bottle, or cuddle will bring a swift end to the disruption.<a href="http://catholicexchange.com/contraceptive-sanctuary-bring-your-baby-to-church" target="_blank"> Children belong in Mass.</a> I believe children should be brought to Mass weekly and that <a href="http://firstcatechists.blogspot.com/2014/04/infants-toddlers-and-mass-attendance.html" target="_blank">much can be done</a> to make Mass a calm, relaxing, loving, and positive experience for all.<br />
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Cry rooms do have their place, but in many parishes, they have <a href="http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Crying-Shame-Greg-Kandra-08-03-2011.html" target="_blank">become glorified toy rooms</a>. Parents sit while their children play, often loudly, with toys bearing no religious significance. No one can hear Mass over the noise and parents get little to nothing out of Mass except the relief of not being glared at when their child makes childlike noises or engages in childlike behavior during Mass. A cry room should be a place where parents can take that loud or unruly infant/toddler (or special needs individual) to get the tantrum out before returning to Mass. Cry rooms should have some comfy chairs for mothers who don't wish to nurse in the sanctuary (though this doesn't bother me... <a href="http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/01/13/pope-tells-moms-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-church/" target="_blank">or Pope Francis!</a>). There should be hymnals and missalettes to encourage ongoing participation in the liturgy. Soft lighting will provide a soothing environment. If there are any other items, they should be geared towards prayer, not play. A good selection of <a href="http://www.catholiccompany.com/childrens-missal-c824/" target="_blank">children's missals</a> and maybe some large rosaries or <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/HuggieSaintDolls" target="_blank">dolls of saints </a>should be about it. Make it a holy, sacred place as well... a continuation of the sanctuary. Most of all, let's remember that some crying/noise in church is necessary and a <a href="http://www.news.va/en/news/popes-homily-at-bethlehems-church-of-the-nativity" target="_blank">beautiful sign</a> of life in abundance!<br />
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Children should be welcome everywhere in church. Not just in Mass, but adoration as well. Read the <a href="http://faithinourfamilies.com/2014/06/30/sorry-you-and-your-kids-are-not-welcome-at-adoration/comment-page-1/" target="_blank">heartbreaking story</a> of a mother who was discouraged from bringing her children to adoration. We need more little ones in adoration, not fewer! At one parish I worked, they not only offered perpetual adoration but, also, a <a href="http://christthekingparish.org/adoration" target="_blank">Family Hour</a> once/month where cries, giggling, wiggling, and noise are celebrated, all in Christ's presence. Praise God! Family Hours should not take the place of kids going to adoration with parents, but it's a great way to introduce adoration unless/until your children are ready for more quiet prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament. The little girl in the story above is definitely ready for as much time as she can get with our Lord.<br />
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I used to volunteer in the church nursery when I was a young girl. Children were running around, screaming, yelling... nothing holy or sacred took place there. The problem I see with nurseries is that it implies to children that Mass is boring and/or not for them. Once they hit the age of 3, 4, or 5 we expect them to start sitting through Mass and behaving? Probably won't happen without lots of fights, stress, and tears. If they've been eased into it from infancy, it is likely to go much smoother.<br />
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But getting kids to sit through Mass is hard, especially if parents have a large family with several infants/toddlers. The answer is simple, in my opinion. Get a team of willing individuals (widows and widowers, teens needing service hours, couples waiting to become parents, etc.) to serve as family helpers. You can either have a system where parents and volunteers can sign up to be paired at specified Mass time or have these volunteers with designated badges in the back of church available on a first-come, first-served basis. How often are your kids better behaved for strangers than for you? An extra adult/teen in the pew could allow you to separate fighting little ones, pass off a sleeping baby but still keep the family together for prayer and worship. I've had many friends say how easy Mass would be if they just had "one more adult with them" or "an extra set of hands". GIVE THEM THAT! This builds a sense of family and community within your parish and helps families pray together. Can I get an, 'Amen'?<br />
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Just as nurseries convince children that Mass isn't for them, Children's Liturgy of the Word (CLOW) can have the same impact on slightly older children. At age 10, I served on the altar some weeks and was dismissed during the readings on other weeks. What kind of confusing message did that deliver? Often, CLOW is well-meaning volunteers offering a watered-down version of the gospel and/or a craft or activity page designed to teach what the readings are. Rarely, in my opinion, do children receive spiritual benefits from this time. Granted, they aren't wiggling and distracting parents in the pews, but is the craft or activity page going to help them grow in their faith? I would prefer to see CLOW <a href="http://www.ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur458.htm" target="_blank">be done as intended</a>, which is with a deacon or priest delivering an age-appropriate homily after proclaiming the gospel. I think children would get far greater benefits staying in the pew but being handed age-appropriate materials such as my <a href="http://www.firstcatechists.blogspot.com/2014/06/happy-birthday.html" target="_blank">Liturgical Reflections</a> to provide understanding and application of the readings. I much prefer children do these reflections before Mass, but I realize some parents like giving the kids something to do in the pews. I think it's a better alternative than dismissing them to make a sheep puppet or draw Zacchaeus in a tree. <a href="http://jimmyakin.com/2005/03/childrens_litur.html" target="_blank">Other Catholic bloggers</a> tend to <a href="http://trcthoughts.com/2013/09/the-childrens-liturgy/" target="_blank">agree with me</a> here so I know my ideas aren't too far-fetched.<br />
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Lastly, let's address Sunday Religious Education classes. First of all, <a href="http://www.faithstreet.com/onfaith/2013/09/16/do-young-catholics-even-understand-their-religion/12074" target="_blank">many of us know that the traditional methods of religious education need much attention, change, and revision</a>. There are many ways to do this. Perhaps, your parish has found an ideal Mass schedule where kids get to RE without disruption of the Mass and the majority of parents follow/precede class with family Mass attendance. This is great, but I've rarely seen it in my years of experience. <br />
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What did God intend for Sabbath to be? For worship and rest. Traditional RE classes are not about worship and it's certainly far from rest. Sunday has always been a family day of worship and rest in my parents' home (where I'm temporarily living): Mass attendance followed by leisurely reading of the paper or watching TV (often in the same room), Sunday dinner with the whole family, (brother, niece, brother's fiance & sister's boyfriend come when they can), and an afternoon of napping or watching TV. It's peaceful, quiet, and relaxing. I <3 it, but I know that returning to full-time ministry will likely mean working every Sunday morning and having to attend Saturday or Sunday night Mass so as not to conflict with when I'm working. This means, DREs are rarely at Mass with the families they are serving. What a travesty, in my opinion.<br />
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In this country, we've developed an attitude that Religious Education classes <a href="http://ncronline.org/news/people/creative-scheduling-accommodates-busy-families" target="_blank">should be offered at the most convenient possible times for families</a>- when the kids don't have conflicts with school, sports, or other activities. I agree that religious education needs to be accessible and I appreciate that Sundays might be an ideal day. However,I challenge you to <a href="http://ncronline.org/blogs/parish-diary/challenges-and-rewards-religious-education-year-faith" target="_blank">rethink what accessible/convenient RE looks like</a>. There are an amazing number of different models for Religious Education including, but not limited to:<br />
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<li>Text-based programs</li>
<li>Montessori-based (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd)</li>
<li>special needs religious education</li>
<li>whole family catechesis</li>
<li>homeschooling options (using text-based curricula)</li>
</ul>
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I think an ideal parish will offer as many of these options as possible so busy families can choose the method that works best for them and their children, rather than the most ideal day/time. Larger parishes will ALWAYS have to have several days and times, but home school and whole family catechesis options force families to (appropriately) decide on their priorities. Do they want to have a catechist instruct their child or are they willing/able to take on that responsibility themselves? I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here since there are so many different circumstances and situations that change things. If they want a catechist to instruct their child, they will find a way to make it work and reschedule their child's other activities. I do not want to do away with parishes offering religious education, but with the complicated schedules of kids these days, I think we are having to think outside the box. I do think whole family catechesis and home school families should check in monthly (or so) with the pastor or DRE to ensure they are on track with their peers.<br />
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Sunday scheduling of RE is so tough because you have to cancel for many 3-day weekends throughout the year. It's very tough to get a reasonable number of hours of instruction in on any day other than Tuesday-Thursday. I think Tuesdays and Thursdays should provide both afternoon and evening options to give families choices (4-5:30 and 6-7:30, for instance). Those days/times can also be used for monthly check-ins or group activities with families opting to home school or use whole family catechesis.<br />
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DREs, how many of you have had parents tell you, "Billy can't come these 8 weeks because of (insert commitment here)" or ask if their child can bounce back and forth between your different days/times to accommodate their schedules? Parents, how many of you have asked your DRE to do this? If the current days/times don't work with your child's activities, are you ready to make some tough choices? I feel for parents and DREs in these situations, but we need to think outside the box. Parents, could you:<br />
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<li>Ban together with other church parents to request a team or organization move their game/practice/rehearsal times to allow time for worship and religious instruction? </li>
<li>Ask your DRE if you can home school your children to accommodate their busy/erratic schedules?</li>
<li>Offer to teach the kids on a given team, with the guidance of your DRE, outside of the church so you can best meet their needs without placing demands on the parish?</li>
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DREs and pastors, what other creative options do you have for these families? I'm sure there are great ideas, so let's hear them!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-51932675362015984222014-07-07T14:14:00.000-07:002014-07-13T13:59:48.817-07:00Getting ready for MassHeigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to Mass we go... How many of you spend your Sunday mornings hustling people out of bed, getting them into decent clothes and fed, rushed into the car and often end up racing into Mass as the priest is heading up the aisle. Kids are fighting in the car and parents are yelling. Ugh. It's no wonder we enter Mass worked up and no one gets much out of it. What are some things your family can start doing to make Sundays more prayerful and less hectic?<br />
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First of all, look at the day/time you're attending Mass. Would Saturday evening be less hectic? Is Sunday morning the most ideal? Don't feel guilty about that Last Chance Mass on Sunday night if it works well with your household's schedule. We all get attached to "our" Mass, but with children you need to be flexible. If you're attending in the morning, these suggestions may make the morning easier:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Laying out clothes the night before (Have an extra outfit in mind if you have a potty-training toddler or a baby who's likely to spit up on you on your way out the door.)</li>
<li>Having a simple, continental breakfast before Mass as opposed to cooking a large meal (Especially if it's fruit and granola bars or something you can set out the night before, it should make the morning easier.)</li>
<li>Earlier bedtimes on Saturday night</li>
<li>Baths/showers before bed Saturday as opposed to in the morning</li>
<li>Moving the clocks ahead 10-15 minutes to give yourself that extra cushion</li>
</ul>
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Whenever you go to Mass, plan to arrive 15-20 minutes early. This give you a buffer when you have delays getting out the door. It also provides time to hit the bathrooms when you arrive at Mass. Insist on this either just before leaving home and/or just before walking into church. It's not a 100% guarantee, but it may cut down on bathroom trips during Mass. </div>
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What does your typical drive or walk to Mass look like? If driving, find some soothing music (classical? Gregorian chant?) to help calm everyone's nerves. Insist that the ride or walk to Mass be quiet and/or have discussions about Mass. As you get into the car or leave the house, remind everyone to let go of the other cares of the day: no yelling, no fighting, and no asking about going for pizza after Mass. What are things you are thankful for this week? What intentions does your family want to hold in prayer at Mass? Most importantly, what gifts are you bringing to God today? Perhaps, use an app such as Laudate to read the readings, or at least the gospel, on the way and discuss it. If you use a tool such as my Liturgical Reflections to better understand the readings, have the kids use those in the car (as opposed to during Mass). </div>
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Do not let your children bring toys, blankets, books, etc. into the car unless they are for Mass use. Consider having a bag for each child containing a rosary, children's bible, and/or children's missalette- only the few items they may need to aid in prayer- that you distribute in the car en route to Mass. This way, they know that only those items are permissible once inside. If the car is filled with toys, dolls, juice boxes, and rattles you can guarantee someone will pitch a fit about not being able to bring that item into church with them. If they need those items for going somewhere after Mass, pack them in the trunk and keep them out of sight. </div>
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By arriving 15-20 minutes early, you can quietly get out the wiggles in a calm way. Visit a statue or light a candle before Mass. Do you have a separate Adoration Chapel? Have someone pick seats while the little ones go say a prayer in front of Jesus. Let them continue using Liturgical Reflections in the pew or reading a children's bible, provided they know it gets put away once Mass begins. If the hymns are posted, look them up before Mass. Encourage older siblings to quietly read from the children's bible or missalette to the younger ones. </div>
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Create a system where the kids pick seats at Mass- perhaps having a rotating basis so each child takes turns. Giving everyone a say might make them more agreeable. Most young kids don't like the back- they prefer the front so they can see everything. Give them this chance. You might be surprised that they will step up their behavior so as to enjoy the privilege of sitting where they want. </div>
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It might seem tougher to keep children quiet/still at Mass longer, but I've found the opposite to be true. That extra few minutes in church before Mass can calm and relax everyone, making the Mass experience more pleasant for you and those around you. What Mass routines has your family created that help all to enjoy the experience?<br />
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UPDATE (7/12/14):<br />
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Acquaintance, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mini34?fref=photo" target="_blank">Katie Choudhary</a>, is <a href="http://www.cgsusa.org/" target="_blank">CGS catetchist </a>at the <a href="http://straymond.net/" target="_blank">Cathedral of St. Raymond Nonnatus </a>in Joliet, IL. On Facebook this morning, Katie posted:<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Do you recognize anything from today's Gospel?</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> </span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Preparing the children for mass is an awesome gift we can give them. It helps them focus their attention as they hear key phrases they remember from when you read it earlier together! </span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">We sit</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> in the recliner and read the Gospel (from our NRSV bible) on Sunday morning before mass. They sit on my lap and I read it straight out of the bible to them. Some days it works better than others and sometimes I cut it short. </span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Today's Gospel was a PERFECT one ! I ended right before Jesus started to explain why He uses parables to teach.</span> </span></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoiY2rI2WlbVZDrHraalEb92l_zrwFux0Orfix6boyN9vJREndPdni_Du1qVxD4PMJBJXk0knjpkWVfIZwhhpCmG1BDSqM35S5Edubj8NRlYysWXs7FHGh5My_VOGOJYHasYea4WpPCFoQ/s1600/Choudhary+son.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoiY2rI2WlbVZDrHraalEb92l_zrwFux0Orfix6boyN9vJREndPdni_Du1qVxD4PMJBJXk0knjpkWVfIZwhhpCmG1BDSqM35S5Edubj8NRlYysWXs7FHGh5My_VOGOJYHasYea4WpPCFoQ/s1600/Choudhary+son.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>SHARED WITH PERMISSION</b></span></i><br />
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Thanks, Katie, for this perfect example of how preparing children for Mass can lead to the fruits of their faith. Children show a deep understanding of theology, when given the chance/resources. My Liturgical Reflections are for parents who don't feel capable/confident in guiding their children in this way and/or children who haven't experienced CGS. In CGS, kids learn to be open to hearing complex scripture stories and exploring them through their own "free art". Katie's calling to read sacred scripture with her children is her own and not inspired by my suggestion, but I want you to witness the beauty of like-minded thinking parents/catechists. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-21210777848292561692014-07-06T22:35:00.001-07:002014-07-07T11:38:41.231-07:00Taking Your Tween/Teen to Mass- Part 2<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>The Doubting Thomas Tween/Teen</b></div>
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I have had the pleasure of catechizing many young people who aren't sure God exists, aren't sure Jesus Christ is the Messiah, and/or aren't sure Catholicism is the faith founded by Christ. I relate strongly to these young people because I was one of them. Unfortunately, from the ages of 10-15, when my faith had the most doubts, I didn't have a safe place to share these doubts. I didn't feel I could tell my parents and I had no other close, adult mentors. Yup- I was an atheist altar server and no one knew it at the time. Junior high youth ministry wasn't a thing yet and I wasn't old enough for my parish's youth ministry offerings until I was a sophomore. By then, I had struggled much and lost a lot of faith. I might have been in less turmoil if I'd had someone to help and encourage me much sooner.</div>
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First and foremost, do you know whether or not your child is one of these people? Like me, your teen/tween might not feel they can tell their parents. I received the Sacrament of Confirmation when I was 13 and in the 8th grade. Our parents gave us letters to read that morning, after rehearsal. My mom's letter upset me. It said, "I know most kids your age are just going through the motions, but I am so proud knowing you aren't one of them." <b style="font-style: italic;">(insert sucker punch to the gut here) </b>I had lots of anger towards bullying at school and blamed God. I kept praying to God to make the bullying stop. The longer things went on and my prayers went "unanswered", I determined God didn't exist because a loving God would never make me suffer so much. At the time, I felt I shouldn't receive Confirmation but didn't know how to articulate that to my parents, teachers, or godmother/sponsor. Looking back, I'm grateful I received it when I did because I believe the Holy Spirit gave me the strength and courage to come back to the Catholic faith in two year's time. Without Confirmation, perhaps I wouldn't have been as open.<br />
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I always encourage my students to tell me if they don't believe in God/Christ. It helps me help them. I spend lots of extra time with my Doubting Thomas students discussing, debating, catechizing, theorizing, praying... you name it. They need someone to work through this with them, not someone to judge them, blame them, or ignore them.<br />
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Do your best to talk with your tween/teen about their level of belief. If he/she won't open up to you, find someone they can talk with. Your son or daughter might tell you they are an atheist and don't believe in God. The biggest reason most kids give me is that "science makes sense", "I believe in the big bang theory and/or evolution" or "science proves God doesn't exist". One of the best Catholic resources out there comes from the <a href="http://www.magiscenter.com/index.html" target="_blank">Magis Center</a>. This Jesuit-run ministry has amazing tools (including a DVD and workbook series) to help teens study science and understand how scientific truths coexist side-by-side what we know about God. This series addresses every science/religion argument your child can throw at you. Consider asking someone at your parish to start a ministry to allow these kids to healthfully explore science in a Catholic context and see how science definitely does not disprove God's existence.<br />
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Is your tween/teen unsure Christ is who he says he is? Or unsure Catholicism is the one, true faith? Here is where<a href="http://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/" target="_blank"> Lighthouse Catholic Media</a> offers some AMAZING tools. From talks by Scott Hahn and Matthew Kelly to books such as "Confessions of a Mega Pastor" you can find <a href="http://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/category/conversion-stories" target="_blank">so many stories of conversion</a>, including converts from Satanism, Mormonism, Judaism, and a variety of Protestant faiths. Talks like Mark Hart's "Remade" discuss lifelong Catholics strengthening and deepening their faith. Listen to and discuss them as a family or in small groups of tweens/teens. Some of them are even part of Lighthouse's teen series and made especially for their age.<br />
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Another great book for kids who are doubting is the series of daring teen saints by Colleen Swaim. Both <a href="http://www.liguori.org/ablaze.html" target="_blank">Ablaze</a> and<a href="http://www.liguori.org/radiate-7500.html" target="_blank"> Radiate</a> are filled phenomenal stories that will soften the hardest of teens' hearts. These stories show them how relevant Catholicism is to young people- so relevant that they have been canonized. Read a few pages as a family each night and pray to those saints. Don't say it aloud, but ask the saint you're reading to pray for your child in doubt. Intercessory prayer is a great thing and underutilized tool in our faith.<br />
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<b>Doing the Bare Minimum/Practical Matters</b></div>
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If your tween/teen fights you on Mass attendance, remind them of your baptismal call to raise them in the faith. Educate them on the precepts of the Church as defined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church #2041-2043:<br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">1- You shall attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">2- You shall confess your sins at least once a year.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">3 - You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">4 - You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">5- You shall help to provide for the needs of the Church</span></i></div>
Make an agreement that you will hold them to these, and only these, until they are 18. Tell them this isn't about them- it's about you. You, as a parent, made a promise to God and it's unfair of your tween/teen to expect you to break that promise. Set conditions you can both agree on such as:<br />
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<li>If you<i><b> willingly </b></i>go to Mass each Sunday and Holy Day, I won't make you do chores on those days so as to rest from "servile labor" on those days. Any kid who gets a one day pass on lawn mowing or dishes is likely to do anything you want! Do not let them boast or brag about this privilege to siblings and, in fact, tell them if they mention it to their siblings then they will receive extra chores. This is a private matter between you and your struggling tween/teen. </li>
<li>Don't force them to sit with you. Provided they have shown they can behave and pay reasonable attention, let them sit alone or with friends. A very wise RE parent called me one fall and said to please make sure my daughter is in the same class with so-and-so. We had Sunday morning RE. The girls (aged 9 or so) would sit together at Mass, attend RE together, and come home for a play date at one of the girls' homes. Make a more adult deal of sorts for older kids, but help find peers to reinforce whenever possible. </li>
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<li>Don't pressure your teen to participating in Mass. In fact, encourage them to sit there and talk with God about his/her doubts. Two things will happen: most self conscious tweens/teens will want to stand, pray, etc. once not forced to do so because they don't like standing out and, secondly, these "conversations" with God are a prayer, even in doubt. Sitting there and thinking, "God, I don't think you exist" is still prayer.</li>
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<li>You must come to Reconciliation once/year (preferably during Lent) and speak with a priest. I cannot force you to go to confession, but think you should so as to prepare yourself for Easter Eucharist. Let them know it's perfectly acceptable (and probably more common than we think) to walk into a confessional and say, "Father, I don't know why I am here. I am unsure if I believe in God or not. I don't want to go to Mass and I don't consider myself Catholic." Let the priest and the Holy Spirit take it from there. </li>
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<li>Receive the Eucharist at Easter. Most of us forget that we are not required to receive the Eucharist every week. Tell your teen they may stay in the pew or go up for a blessing (as appropriate in your congregation). This sounds like a free pass but most teens are too self-conscious to stray from the norm. You'd be surprised that after being questioned by friends once or twice, they'll likely start going again on their own. Be patient with this process. </li>
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<li>Abstain from meat on Fridays during Lent and Ash Wednesday. (If your family observes no meat on any Friday, you should make that the expectation.)</li>
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<li>Volunteer your time at Church in some capacity for a set number of days/hours per year. Whether it's helping in the nursery, greeting at Mass, or stuffing bulletins, find a benign ministry they can do that will not force them to pray or act on things they are doubting right now. Make the ministry as far removed from Mass/prayer as possible but let them know the expectation. </li>
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<li>If they have a job, consider telling them they must tithe 10% (or a % more appropriate if you cannot afford to tithe 10%) - 5% to the parish and 5% to a special fund you're willing to match (this is instead of the 5% to a charity of choice often recommended). You and your son/daughter can agree on a "cause" for this fund even if the "charity" is as simple as taking the whole family out to dinner or something a tad selfish but that benefits the household and reinforces the family. If they are willing to give the other 5% to an actual charity, awesome, but it may take years to build to that step.</li>
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If Confirmation falls during this time when your child is struggling, set basic expectations: they must attend any/all prep up to and including the retreat. They must not insult the faith of those around them. They must meet with the DRE, youth minister, a deacon, or a priest (someone will almost definitely be willing) once at the beginning of the process to explain why they don't want to do it and once after the retreat to discern if they still want to back out. As a DRE I always promised those students (and my pastor agreed) that since they had done all the prep, they could return to me anytime before the age of 18 and ask to receive Confirmation. I would expect them to go on retreat again to spiritually prepare, but that would be all.<br />
Most of all, remember the less you fight them, the more open their hearts will remain.<br />
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Some additional things you can do to help during this age/phase are:<br />
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<li>Discuss the readings and homily on the way home from Mass to help your child find relevance. </li>
<li>Encourage "prayer" at home that doesn't look like prayer. "What are 3 things you were grateful for today?" </li>
<li>Create more family time at meals or other occasions just to be together. The closer you are as a family, the more open your teen might be to discussing faith matters with you.</li>
<li>Pray for your child and try not to push him/her. If you pray together as a family and your tween/teen balks, help them politely and appropriately voice their doubts/complaints/feelings to God.</li>
<li>Within reason, help him/her explore other faiths. Accompany them to services at other churches and/or read on other faiths they think seem intriguing but always fall it up with a story of someone who converted to Catholicism from that faith and why. Help them see and understand both sides of it. You can appreciate the good things in ANY faith belief system provided you back it up with the how and why of what the Church teaches. You may even reaffirm your own faith along the way. </li>
<li>When you get frustrated, take the frustration out on God (He can take it!) and not your child. Remember, God gave your child free will and all those fun, stubborn thoughts he/she is having! ;)</li>
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Most of all, love your tween/teen, doubts and all. Remember, at this age they often just want to rebel. Don't let faith be the thing you most fight about and don't give them reason to want to rebel. Pushing too much will just lead them to push away. And lastly, don't ever tell them they should be a Catholic "just because" or "because that's how I was raised". Help them find reasons to stay Catholic and, if you don't have any reasons other than "just because", start searching for reasons alongside your child. Good luck and God bless!</div>
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<b>My Doubting Thomas Experience</b></div>
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I told one of my Doubting Thomas relatives recently about my "Jewostic" phase in college. My undergraduate Christology course left me doubting our Lord's divinity and, spiritually, left me somewhere between Jewish and agnostic. This period of doubt happened just as Lent started. I told God that for Lent I would commit to continuing to attend Mass each Sunday and would keep praying with the goal that God would soften my heart and I would enter Easter with joy and faith. I would keep up with my religious choirs and Wednesday night prayer/spirituality group. What happened? On my way to receive the Eucharist I would pray, "Lord, I don't believe this is really you, but if I'm wrong please help me to see and know otherwise.". Forty days later, the burden of my heart was lifted. It was gradual, nothing earth shattering, but Celine Dion played an odd role in my spiritual healing. One night I turned on the radio after an angry shouting match at God. The song That's the Way it Is was playing and I suddenly imagined the Lord singing to me:<br />
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<i>I can read your mind</i></div>
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<i>And I know your story</i></div>
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<i>I see what you're going through, yeah</i></div>
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<i>It's an uphill climb</i></div>
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<i>And I'm feeling sorry</i></div>
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<i>But I know it will come to you, yeah</i></div>
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<i>Don't surrender</i></div>
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<i>'Cause you can win</i></div>
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<i>In this thing called love</i></div>
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<i>When you want it the most</i></div>
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<i>There's no easy way out</i></div>
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<i>When you're ready to go</i></div>
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<i>And your heart's left in doubt</i></div>
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<i>Don't give up on your faith</i></div>
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<i>Love comes to those who believe it</i></div>
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<i>And that's the way it is</i></div>
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<i>When you question me</i></div>
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<i>For a simple answer</i></div>
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<i>I don't know what to say, no</i></div>
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<i>But it's plain to see</i></div>
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<i>If you stick together</i></div>
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<i>You're gonna find the way, yeah</i></div>
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<i>So don't surrender</i></div>
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<i>'Cause you can win</i></div>
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<i>In this thing called love</i></div>
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<i>When you want it the most</i></div>
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<i>There's no easy way out</i></div>
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<i>When you're ready to go</i></div>
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<i>And your heart's left in doubt</i></div>
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<i>Don't give up on your faith</i></div>
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<i>Love comes to those who believe it</i></div>
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<i>And that's the way it is</i></div>
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<i>That's the way it is</i></div>
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<i>When life is empty,</i></div>
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<i>With no tomorrow,</i></div>
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<i>And loneliness starts to call</i></div>
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<i>Baby don't worry</i></div>
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<i>Forget your sorrow</i></div>
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<i>'Cause love's gonna conquer it all all</i></div>
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<i>When you want it the most</i></div>
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<i>There's no easy way out</i></div>
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<i>When you're ready to go</i></div>
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<i>And your heart's left in doubt</i></div>
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<i>Don't give up on your faith</i></div>
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<i>Love comes to those who believe it</i></div>
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<i>(And that's the way it is</i></div>
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<i>When you want it the most</i></div>
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<i>There's no easy way out</i></div>
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<i>When you're ready to go</i></div>
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<i>And your heart's left to doubt)</i></div>
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<i>Don't give up on your faith</i></div>
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<i>Love comes to those who believe it</i></div>
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<i>And that's the way it is</i></div>
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<i>That's the way it is</i></div>
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<i>That's the way it is</i></div>
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<i>Don't give up on your faith</i></div>
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<i>Love comes to those who believe it</i></div>
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<i>And that's the way it is</i></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></span>So God and Celine got me through my roughest patch, eventually. There were other times of doubt where I pondered leaving the Catholic faith but Mass attendance, staying close to Our Lady, etc. helped me immensely and I don't think I'll ever face those doubts again. I have gone through VERY trying circumstances as an adult and with the help of God and Our Blessed Mother, my faith came out stronger than ever. During a potentially serious illness, the Anointing of the Sick, prayers from my parishioners, and Mass offered by my priest/boss brought me through. When I struggled to attend Mass because I was grieving a divorce (and barely got out of bed), friends prayed for me and countless hours were offered in front of the Blessed Sacrament for me. I know those prayers brought me safely to the other side.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-77572624825320344282014-07-06T17:08:00.001-07:002014-07-07T00:06:44.862-07:00Taking Your Tweens and Teens to Mass- Part I If you have a faith-filled child who willingly attends Mass between the ages of 11-18 you are blessed and lucky. In general, I think this is the toughest age to bring children to Mass though I haven't had children so trying to breastfeed twins while a toddler tap dances on the pews could be tougher. In all seriousness, I think because this is an age when kids begin to doubt, question, and/or rebel, it can be very difficult to help them grow in faith and take their faith seriously. It is important to note that this is also the age, in this country, when the majority of these young people will receive Confirmation or be expected to prepare for Confirmation. This means that just as they are losing their faith, we are asking them to reaffirm it.<br />
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In my experience, the major problems of tweens and teens at Mass <b><i>typically </i></b>falls into 2 camps: they are involved in a ministry such as children's choir or altar serving and enjoy Mass when they get to do that but otherwise have to be dragged to Mass or they begin expressing serious doubts about God, their faith, etc. and object to going at all. As a result, this blog entry will have two parts. This first part will address those kids who gripe about going to Mass because "it's boring" and help you engage your children through altar serving or other ministries. The second post will help you with children doubting Catholicism, Christianity, and/or God's existence. That post will also include practical tips on how to set expectations for your tween/teen, especially if he or she is balking.<br />
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Please know that I understand these struggles intimately. Twenty-five years ago I was that child. I had been raised Catholic but never had any reason to be Catholic other than all my family and friends were. Your tween/teen needs reasons in order to become an interested and engaged Catholic. Not knowing why I should be Catholic nor fully understanding the treasures of the Church nearly led to my leaving on more than one occasion. I don't want that for you or your child.<br />
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<b>The I'll-Go-When-I-Have-a-Purpose Catholic</b></div>
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We've all known (or been!) this teen or tween. It's his/her week to cantor at a teen Mass, lector at a children's-focused Mass, or altar serve. They jump out of bed and are ready to leave for church an hour before Mass begins. Fast forward to the next week when they aren't participating in an assigned ministry. "Why do I have to go?" "I'm tired." "This is pointless." "We had a Mass at school on Friday. That should count for something." (Insert whiny rant/complaint here.)</div>
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The trouble with these young individuals is that they don't realize that they are at Mass simply for the Mass' sake. They are there to pray the Liturgy. Liturgy is the "work of the people". Mass is not the work of (just) the priest/altar server/usher/cantor/lector. We are all there do to our work- to pray the Liturgy with the priest, our fellow parishioners, and saints and angels. While the Mass can never be less or incomplete due to our inattentiveness, our participation is essential. Our prayers, singing, and participation are why we are there. Most importantly, we are there to receive our Lord's Body and Blood. Praying the Mass is how we prepare our mind, body, and soul for the Heavenly Banquet as well as spiritually gear up for the week ahead.</div>
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One of my favorite catechetical tools to help young people is the book <a href="http://ascensionpress.com/products/do-i-have-to-go-101-questions-about-the-mass-the-eucharist-and-your-spiritual-life" target="_blank">"Do I Have to Go?"</a> by Matthew Pinto & Christ Stefancik. I used this excellent read as a supplemental text for the Confirmation curriculum I compiled. My students always loved it. Parents, please suggest to your child's catechists and teachers of students in grades 6th+ that they should consider purchasing class copies and reading/discussing one or two questions a class. If you're a parent, find a young adult in your parish to lead a book discussion for 4-6 tweens or teens in your home. If you feel your child would respond well, read it as a family, but I know that can be tricky at the age we're dealing with here. The casual style will definitely get your kids to start understanding why the Mass is so essential to our lives as Catholics. Some of a sampling of the questions addressed:</div>
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<li>Why should I go to Mass?</li>
<li>What is the difference between Mass and my Protestant friend's Sunday worship service?</li>
<li>What exactly is a sacrament?</li>
<li>But why do we need to worship God with other people?</li>
<li>I don't feel any holier after receiving communion. Is that normal?</li>
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Answers are short, refer to scripture and/or the Catechism, and provide clear explanations that even adults can enjoy, learn from, and discuss with their child(ren).<br />
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There are a large number of resources and programs you and/or your parish/school can use to help tween/teens understand the Mass. Tools such as the "Do I Have to Go?" book can go very far in helping young people desire to go to Mass. If you have good relationships with your pastor, principal, DRE, youth ministers, etc. I highly recommend discussing tools or adding programming, to help students better understand the Mass. A well-done, teaching Mass offered once/year to this age group can go far if you don't have the luxury of spending money or offering extensive programming. In my opinion, the best teaching Masses are "dry" Masses where you can allow students to pass around or come up closely to look at things such as the lectionary, paten, chalice, hand bells, etc. Plus, you aren't taking away from the sanctity of Mass. You'd be surprised at how much this can engage students.<br />
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<b>The Altar Server Connection</b></div>
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Also, I think reviewing how altar serving training is done can have an enormous impact on young students' understanding of the Mass and help engage them in weeks when they aren't serving. Unfortunately, how we go about instruction doesn't always help this. Altar server instruction should be detailed and in depth. If possible, a priest should instruct but if a priest isn't available, use someone who is extremely knowledgeable about liturgy. Someone who won't just say, "bring the priest a bowl and towel at point X" but, rather, someone who can walk the students through the Mass in an in-depth, engaging, and intimate manner explaining the purposes of different prayers and gestures- particularly since they'll need to listen and watch closely for those gestures as their cues.<br />
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I used to attend a parish where altar server training was part of the school curriculum but signing up for the ministry was optional. Typically, catechesis for 5th grade covers Mass and Sacraments. This also tends to be around the age when students can become altar servers so there are many great reasons to do this formation at this age. (I will not engage in the altar boy versus altar server debate here as there are excellent grounds on both sides of things. I will touch on what you can offer the young ladies if only males are altar servers at your parish.)<br />
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Encourage whomever does altar server training to work with the school principal and/or DRE to build that into the catechetical instruction for students. Whether school or religious education, ensure all students get training in serving on the altar as part of their classroom time, hopefully inviting home school families to participate as well. After training is complete, send home permission slips for those who wish to sign up for the parish schedule. It is likely you'll get a much higher percentage of students stepping up to serve if they have had the training, know what it's about, and have had practice. Some students might be too embarrassed or hesitant to sign up for training, but this process could encourage those kids to become servers once they realize they can do well at it. Also, every DRE has gone through not having enough RE students trained as servers to help at RE Masses. This helps eliminate that problem.<br />
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If your parish only has male servers, what are they offering for the young ladies of that age? Is it feasible to start a Junior Altar and Rosary League or Mini Sacristans group? Educate and train young ladies on the tools of the Mass just as you do the young men. Can they assist older parishioners with upkeep of the sanctuary, washing/polishing vessels, laundering linens, etc.? The training is because they will treat the sanctuary area and vessels, etc. with more reverence when they fully understand the purpose of them and meaning behing them. How do you recruit ladies for such a ministry? Usually students need service hours for Confirmation and/or high school. What an excellent way to serve the parish and obtain those hours!<br />
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<i>Stay tuned for my next post on dealing with those Doubting Thomas teens/tweens and more things you can do as a family to engage your children. </i><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-86766969910793198502014-06-24T14:28:00.000-07:002014-06-24T14:29:16.155-07:00Older children (ages 6-10) and Mass attendanceOh, joy! Your children are old enough to not **need** toys, bathroom breaks, or snacks during Mass. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean they are any less antsy or less difficult to bring to Mass. At that age, my siblings and I were whiny, leaned on Mom & Dad regularly, asked if we could go to coffee and donuts every 5 minutes, and tried to crush one another with a death grip during the Our Father (back in the good, old, hand-holding days of 1986!!). What's a parent to do?<br />
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First of all, take time to discern if your child even understands the basics of the liturgy. Can they identify and articulate the Liturgy of the Word versus the Liturgy of the Eucharist? Do they have memorized most of the prayers/responses? Can they follow along with longer prayers using the missalette? Few of these are articulated with regularity in the curricula most of your schools or religious education programs are using. This isn't bad, but we must remember that religion classes are meant to support and supplement the spirituality of the child as lived in the home and at church. Your child may learn every 2 or 3 years about the different parts of the Mass or have some of these prayers (Gloria, Nicene Creed, Our Father, etc.) touched on in various lessons, but they often don't take time to explore the meaning.<br />
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Regular Mass attendance (minimum of each Sunday and Holy Days of Obligation) are the only way for children to grasp and retain the ebbs and flows of the Mass. On a recent Sunday evening, my 8 year-old niece asked if we were "almost done" while praying after Communion. Due to custody issues, she is only able to attend Mass about twice/month but I thought, by now, she surely knew enough that after Communion we only had one more prayer and hymn to go. Guess not. You may think your children know what's going on and what to expect, but perhaps they do not.<br />
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Which parts of the Mass does each child most like? My niece enjoys any time we are singing and, up until now, very much enjoyed getting to go up with the children to put her envelope in the basket for the children's collection. (Aunt side note: apparently, age 8 and 4 months makes one too told to go up with the other kids and also too grown up for children's tithing envelopes.) She used to look forward to getting her blessing, but excitement waned this last year or two. She kept saying, "when can I get that?" and expressed an eagerness to receive our Lord's Body and Blood. Now, she looks forward to receiving the Eucharist instead of a blessing.<br />
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Find out what he/she most enjoys about Mass and help them find anticipation for those areas. Maybe they most enjoy visiting with school friends after Mass or high-fiving the summer seminarian, but it doesn't matter. Each little thing is worth it. Help them find value in the meaningful experiences at Mass. They will build as you continue working with them.<br />
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In the weeks and months before receiving First Communion, remind your child that he/she should be doing their best to show spiritual readiness. This can be done in a variety of ways, but active participation is key. Also, they can begin to grasp this concept of liturgy as the "work of the people". Try to help your child see what work he/she is called to (singing, praying, listening, etc.) to be a full part of Mass and be ready to receive Holy Communion.<br />
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Does your child have older siblings on the altar? Remind him/her that participating in the Mass shows you that they are ready for duties that may be available to them soon such as altar serving, children's choirs, etc. If not, do you participate in a ministry they can help with? If you are an usher, see if your parish will allow your child to seat people and pass out bulletins with you. Do you serve as sacristan? Have your child with you, helping, so he/she can see the important steps that go into preparing for Mass. Sometimes, our youngest children see these ministries as "prizes" of becoming older. While helping them to see and know that Mass is always of value whether or not he/she is old enough to receive the Eucharist or old enough to participate in a ministry, I don't think it's bad or wrong to help them set long-term goals of serving in a ministry and reminding them how current attentiveness and participation prepares them for these duties.<br />
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After having a great experience with my Pre-K and K Totus Tuus students last week, I was reminded how much our youngest can get out of Mass when given proper tools. Though we didn't attend Mass, we talked a lot about the Luminous Mysteries and spent time exploring how to keep holy the Sabbath. We need to continue to this practice of offering practical, simple, spiritual tools at all ages. I was at Mass this weekend with a relative (raised Catholic) who has been struggling with our faith. He asked me the point of all these prayers, rituals, incense and sequences (this was the Feast of Corpus Christi) that he had never been taught to understand. It saddened me and reminded me how lucky I am to have explored the Mass and other parts of my spiritual life on my own. He is trying to have the faith of a child but he has the cynicism of an adult.<br />
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The best thing we can do is help our child explore his/her spiritual life as early as possible. Helping him/her build a relationship with Christ through prayer, the Mass, and Sacraments as early as possible lessens the likelihood of leaving later. That doesn't mean he/she won't have challenges. It doesn't mean he/she won't leave. However, we need to give our youngest the spiritual tools to fight those battles within when those cynical moments arise. I'll have more on that when I address Mass attendance with tweens and teens in my next post.<br />
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In the meantime, what specific challenges do you face with children of this age at Mass? Let's dialogue and help one another find solutions. Pax!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-89260168485252554772014-06-06T23:01:00.000-07:002014-07-06T23:55:23.632-07:00Happy Birthday!Whew! Pentecost is nearly here and I have been an absent blogger in recent weeks. I apologize, folks.<br />
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It's with good reason, though. I have been busy getting a Vacation Bible School program ready for a friend's parish and busy job interviewing (please pray I get a position as a campus minister at a local Catholic high school). Next week I head to Indianapolis for a week to teach a Pre-K and Kindergarten program I wrote to accompany <a href="http://catholicdioceseofwichita.org/totus-tuus/history-of-totus-tuus">Totus Tuus</a>. As you may have read from<a href="http://www.firstcatechists.blogspot.com/2014/05/vacation-bible-school-what-to-do.html"> my earlier post</a>, Totus Tuus is my favorite, Catholic VBS program (though they prefer to call it a camp). The only, minor downside, is that it is for grades 1st and up. Many parishes like to cater VBS to the younger set. I have had success in the past using the daily themes to write my own companion curriculum which allows the little ones to attend too. I make it clear that this is my program and is not endorsed by Totus Tuus. It's had great response in the past and, hopefully, will this time too. I am super stoked that my best friend's awesome daughters will be in this class. Her oldest will be in the 4th grade class and her toddler will be doing his best to eat the crayons and supplies while his mom assists me. I cannot wait! If you are interested, please use this blog to contact me so we can get something ready for next year for your parish. And you don't have to bring me in- I'll send you complete lesson plans and materials for a nominal donation towards my ministry.<br />
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That said, I have been working hard to bring you a Pentecost/birthday gift: another FREE SAMPLE of my Liturgical Reflections curriculum. There are 3 different .pdfs which you can access by clicking on the level you desire. <a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B0GoPrq1yM2pRFR5MzZWYW9zUlE/edit" target="_blank">Level I </a>(marked by 1 diamond) is for the 3-6 year-old mentality, <a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B0GoPrq1yM2pU3BsWmJhTTRLUEk/edit" target="_blank">Level II</a> is for the 6-9 mentality, and <a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B0GoPrq1yM2pSEhLR3FVamE5QlE/edit" target="_blank">Level III</a> is for the 9-12 year old set. I use the diamonds so those working with special needs students can give them an appropriate material that is not blazoned with "designed for ages 3-6" if they are 20 years of age. We want all of our children to feel grown up when using these. It also allows you to challenge your advanced student with something better suited to their needs.<br />
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It is my preference and desire that these reflections be used before or after Mass and not during. That said, I understand how useful it can be to have something to give your more "active" child during a long homily and respect your parental choice to use these reflections in ways best suited to your needs. Also, please note that I used the Sunday readings and not the Vigil ones. If you attend Mass Saturday evening, you may have different readings.<br />
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I really hope you enjoy this Pentecost gift. I am so eager to share it with you! All the images are stock images and I do everything via MS Publisher. It's very labor intensive to get a good layout and find proper images to meet my needs. I would love to find a Catholic, graphic designer to collaborate with as I write 3 year's worth of these reflections for use at home, school, and/or religious education. If you know someone, please encourage them to contact me through this blog.<br />
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Each bulletin is 4 pages long. Since they are on 8 1/2 x 11, you should be able to easily print them on your home computer and staple them together for each child. Once I get an artist and funding for a better computer and printer, I'll get them printed on 11 x 17 folded into a handy bulletin for easy distribution.<br />
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Please pass this link onto your Catholic friends and family. Share it with your pastor, DRE, or theology teacher. Most importantly, print to use with your own children and provide me with feedback in the comment section. Share the Pentecost joy with everyone you meet! My goal? 500 views by Sunday morning. Do you think we can do it? As Bob the Builder would say, "Yes, we can!"<br />
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Veni, Sancte Spiritus!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-91395251596397694272014-05-22T06:19:00.000-07:002014-07-06T23:53:39.734-07:00Vacation Bible School- what to do?It's that time of year again. School is nearly out and summer lessons, programs, and activities are starting, including Vacation Bible School. This post was inspired after reading about some concerns on a Catholic Moms group FB page. The moms were debating about whether you could/should send your children to VBS at non Catholic parishes so they can attend with their friends. This post will discuss ideal Catholic curricula for VBS as well as what you should do if your child is invited to VBS at a non-Catholic parish.<br />
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Sending your child to VBS at a non-Catholic parish can be very risky. I would highly advise against it, but I can appreciate a desire to join in if all your child's friends are attending and/or there isn't a Catholic program in your area. If you are considering sending your child to a program at a non-Catholic parish, here's what I would advise:<br />
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<li>Ask your parish priest if this congregation has ever shown negativity or hostility towards Catholics and/or if he has other concerns about your child attending this program. Take his advice seriously! </li>
<li>Call the program director and ask if the program will be negative towards children not of the faith and/or if children will be pressured into following that parish's denomination</li>
<li>Ask the name of the curriculum and preview it online to determine if you are comfortable with it and/or if it contains anything you wouldn't want your child hearing.</li>
<li>Have a "process" time each day. Ask your child what he/she learned. Add to it what Catholics believe and/or clarify as needed. </li>
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If your reason for considering VBS at a Protestant church is because your parish doesn't have VBS, talk to your pastor and other parents. With ingenuity and some luck, you can get something started so this doesn't become an ongoing issue. But how do you start a Vacation Bible School if your parish has never had it? Isn't this a ridiculous amount of work? Possibly, but it depends how you go about it!</div>
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If money is tight and you aren't sure if there is interest, start small. Most catechists and religion teachers didn't get to finish the last 1-3 chapters of their textbooks. Have VBS for 2 hours/day and use that curriculum with the guidance of your DRE/CRE. Be sure to incorporate time for group prayer, songs, crafts, and games. See if the priest can have Mass with the kids. If not, perhaps you can have a lay-led Communion service (get your pastor's guidance on how this is done). "Google" the lessons of the day and many Catholic parenting and catechist sites will give you great ideas for thematic crafts and games to help teach that concept. If you don't need to buy a program, you can charge a small amount ($5-10/child) to defray costs and supplement your parish's catechesis budget. </div>
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If your parish can afford it, it is a wonderful option to have a Catholic program, but even here you have to be careful. Have you seen the theme being offered by the local Protestant churches? Several major, Catholic publishing companies buy the rights to these programs, "fix" them so they are Catholic, and rebrand them. I've used many of these programs. I don't want to bash their publishers, but you can easily figure out who it is by googling the VBS theme to see if other publishers use it. Chances are if every craft store in town has materials for this "theme", it'a rebranded product. I have typically found these programs to be light in content with little to no Catholic identity. They aren't bad and the great thing is you can often share sets and props with your Protestant neighbors. However, I find it less than ideal.</div>
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There are two Catholic programs I am very fond of. The first is <a href="http://www.growingwiththesaints.com/">http://www.growingwiththesaints.com/</a>. I have seen this program used at my home parish and I also purchased it for use at the parish where I once worked. The kits are easy to follow and have everything you need to offer an excellent VBS experience with a true Catholic identity. My one complaint is that it still uses some of the gimmicky things to teach the faith such as talking animals and songs the kids won't hear again outside of VBS. Those are the only drawbacks I see and it's an outstanding program in so many ways. Don't let my personal preferences get in the way of an excellent ministry resource! The blogger over at <a href="http://www.catholicicing.com/catholic-vacation-bible-school-reviews/">Catholic Icing</a> reviewed Growing With the Saints and other Catholic products. I haven't used the other programs she discusses, but they sound worth checking out too. </div>
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So, I am not a fan of things that use gimmicks, puppets, cartoons, etc. to teach the faith. That doesn't mean there aren't solid materials, like the ones mentioned above but as a catechist in <a href="http://www.cgsusa.org/">Catechesis of the Good Shepherd</a>, I know we can do better. Children do an excellent job when handed the sacraments and the truth in all their seriousness, beauty, and solemnity. This is why Totus Tuus is my hands-down, favorite, Catholic, summer program. <a href="http://catholicdioceseofwichita.org/totus-tuus/what-is-totus-tuus">Totus Tuus</a> was started in Wichita and is taking Catholic dioceses by storm! If your parish is in <a href="http://www.totustuuschicago.com/">Chicago</a>, <a href="http://www.archden.org/index.cfm/ID/5822/">Denver</a>, <a href="http://www.archatl.com/vocations/totustuus/">Atlanta</a>, or many other diocese throughout the country, chances are you have access to Totus Tuus. If not, contact the Wichita location and ask how you can get it. Hopefully their <a href="http://catholicdioceseofwichita.org/totus-tuus/totus-tuus-national/diocesan-directory">national directory of dioceses</a> will be up soon! </div>
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The best thing about Totus Tuus is that the team (4 adults- 3 college students and 1 seminarian) bring all the materials to you. There is no planning or organizing the curriculum. The parish's sole duties are to house and feed 4 individuals (2 men, 2 women) for a week. This is very easy as many people in your parish have guest rooms and/or love to cook. The fee you charge families goes solely to cover the cost of "hiring" the Totus Tuus team for the week. The best part is, you know you are getting a totally, Orthodox program <b><i>with trained catechists</i></b>. Sometimes well-meaning individuals sign up to help with VBS but aren't great at teaching or understanding the faith. This saves you that hassle since these individuals are trained for a week before they come to your parish. They know and live their faith inside and out and don't use gimmicks: they use the Mass, Adoration, and Reconciliation to teach your children. Their programming is also for grades 1-12 which is an added bonus.</div>
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Starting in 1st grade is the only downfall I've encountered with Totus Tuus. As a result, I have prepared a supplemental curriculum (not with the approval of Totus Tuus, though they freely give me their curriculum outline so I can plan) for grades pre-K and K to use at parishes where I have worked and helped. This take some serious effort, but is worth it to get the whole family there together. The Totus Tuus teams I have worked with have been very responsive to this. If you're interested, contact me through my blog and I can help your parish supplement the Totus Tuus curriculum if you want to include your younger parishioners. </div>
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The final option, and one I have yet to try is simply offering extended atrium times in the summer for Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. If your parish has CGS, you know that an ideal atrium session is 2-3 hours. You also know there are presentations you would like to do every year but don't always get to. The children often yearn for more atrium time. Why not take advantage of the summer months to do this? It's also a great way to have a "beginner" class and expose new families to CGS who may be in doubt. You can charge a small fee or take donations to help repair or make new materials for the coming year. </div>
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I hope these VBS ideas help. I know it's too late to implement many of them for this year but it's never too soon to start looking ahead to next year. God bless and thanks for reading! </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-5858654446435585892014-05-18T20:56:00.001-07:002014-07-06T23:46:50.990-07:00Catholics with (Dis)abilities and Special Needs <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So many Catholics are differently-abled. Conditions such as an autism spectrum disorder, Down's Syndrome, or a developmental delay can drastically impact how your child understands his/her faith and when he/she is ready for catechesis, sacraments, etc. This blog post is largely taken from an email to a high school friend whose son has <a href="http://www.angelman.org/">Angelman Syndrome.</a> She was struggling with a pastor who didn't feel her child needed the sacraments and wanted him to stop receiving the Eucharist even though he had gone through special needs catechesis and had received First Communion months before moving to that parish.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">The key things I think parents of a child with a disability (particularly one that impacts his/her mental capacity) should consider:</span></span><br />
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<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Your child has a right to catechesis. Work with your pastor, diocesan employees, religious educators, and/or others until you find a method for catechizing that works for your child's needs and abilities. If you send your child to school, you should send your child to religious education in some fashion.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Be patient. Not all 7 year-olds are ready for First Communion and a disability might mean your child needs more time to prepare. Whether 7, 27, or 77- as soon as someone shows an understanding of the Eucharist- he/she should be able to receive.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Ongoing catechesis is the best way (and only way, in my opinion) to determine if your child will ever be ready to receive Eucharist (and perhaps Confirmation and/or Reconciliation too).</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Expose your child to the faith daily through: prayer, music, rosary, Mass attendance, etc. God can cut through all barriers and the more you give God to your child the more God will give back in abundance to your family. </span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">If your child lives in a group home or care facility, work with care providers to ensure the Catholic faith is encouraged/practiced. The same goes for during hospital stays (chaplains are your best friends!). </span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Daily Masses are often shorter and without music. If your child struggles to get through Sunday Mass, take him/her to a daily Mass. The quieter, shorter, and simpler environment might be better for him/her until they are ready to handle a Sunday Mass. </span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">PRAY! Ask God to help your child grow in faith and stay close to the Church. </span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Trust the Holy Spirit. Your child received the gift of Understanding at baptism. The Holy Spirit will help your child demonstrate his/her understanding of the Eucharist at the right time in the right way. This requires immense patience, but chances are, if you have a child with a disability you have a doctoral degree in patience by now! </span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The rituals and repetitiveness of the Catholic rituals (think Mass, Liturgical Calendar, rosary, novenas, etc.) can be therapeutic tools for those who strive on structure and order.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Look at yourself first. Do you, your spouse, and the child's siblings show reverence for the sacraments, discuss the Catholic faith with respect, and/or live out your faith at home? Your child is absorbing everything around him/her even if he/she cannot communicate that back to you. You need to be that much more conscientious if your child has a disability so he/she can absorb that desire to partake in the Sacramental Life of the Church. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We know so much more about the human mind and disabilities than we did decades ago. We treat those with different mental capacities with much more human dignity, but there is still a long way to go in our political, social, and educational systems. I'm sure every parent of a child with a disability would agree. The same goes for our spiritual systems- our churches.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are many excellent resources for Catholic parents who have a child with a disability- mental and/or physical- since the disability will almost inevitably lead to a difference in how that child is catechized. This is no different than an IEP or other school accommodations. It's a simple, basic fact. Loss of sight or hearing are <i>probably</i> the easiest to compensate for. When you get into diagnoses like autism spectrum disorders, Down's Syndrome, brain injury, stroke, developmental delay, and other disabilities, things get trickier. </span><br />
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Here are some resources I've used:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The<a href="http://www.xaviersocietyfortheblind.org/"> Xavier Society for the Blind </a>offers excellent resources- many free- for those who need Braille and/or books-on-CD materials. I am not sure if their on-CD materials can be borrowed for sighted individuals who cannot read, but it would be worth inquiring about.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.spred-chicago.org/">SPRED</a> or Special Religious Education Development is the longest-standing form of catechesis for those with developmental and/or mental disabilities that I am aware of. It was started in Chicago about 30 years ago or so and can be found all over the world. At least in Chicago, the way SPRED works is that they do not have SPRED at each parish. Rather, the goal is to offer each level of SPRED (ages 6-10, 11-17, 18-21, 21+) at parishes in each area of the diocese. The difficulty with SPRED is you have to offer at least one level at your parish in order for your child to receive the other levels at other parishes. For instance, per the rules, since we offered the 6-10 program at the parish where I once worked, my parishioners were eligible for the older age programs at neighboring parishes. If your parish didn't offer SPRED, you needed to enroll in a parish that offered at least one level of it. So, unless/until your parish opens a SPRED center, your children wouldn't be eligible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A friend of a friend designed a wonderful program at her parish called the<a href="http://www.stpius.net/index.cfm?load=page&page=1054"> Children of St. Angela Merici</a>. I really like the Angela Merici program since it t isn't bound by the same policies as SPRED. The SPRED policies aren't bad- since they don't publish the curriculum and parishes have to pay the Archdiocese for use of the curriculum, they don't want it abused. It's just a factor that makes it trickier. Also, the woman who designed Angela Merici based it off of what she knew about <a href="http://www.cgsusa.org/">Catechesis of the Good Shepherd</a>. Myself and many CGS catechists use CGS to help our special needs students. Less reading combined with a very hands-on approach can make it a great tool for special needs parishioners.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Loyola Press does an amazing job with sacramental prep and I am VERY eager to see their upcoming adaptive curriculum for children with disabilities. <a href="http://www.loyolapress.com/special-needs.htm%20.">These curricula</a> are all-inclusive and have everything you need. Parents and/or parishioners could order them and use them in the home or outside of formalized parish programs. They are particularly designed for use with the non-verbal child and my catechists and I have found great success with them! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A great, national resource for parents is the <a href="http://www.ncpd.org/">the National Catholic Partnership on Disability</a>. Their site is full of terrific information. Locally, you should contact your diocese to learn who their rep or department is for special needs Catholics. Most dioceses I am familiar with have some staff dedicated to this important need. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Most importantly, y</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">ou need to know what ways your child best takes in information as well as which ways (if any) the child shows comprehension of that information.That will dictate the most ideal method(s) of catechetical instruction. I have often developed an individualized program for special needs students.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So, what does all this have to do with sacramental prep, particularly Eucharist? How the child relays comprehension is where things get complicated. Priests, deacons, and/or Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion are advised to use their discretion and shouldn't deny someone communion unless they believe there is serious reason to do so. If/when anyone denies a special needs individual communion, please know they are doing so to protect themselves. Just as they wouldn't wish to give communion to someone in a known state of mortal sin, they don't wish to give someone communion if they don't believe the person knows what/who they are receiving. Don't hold it against anyone, though I recognize how extremely painful, isolating, and discouraging this can be. Try to gently approach them after Mass and advocate by explaining how/why that person is prepared. Let them know there are no hard feelings!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The NCPD has an <a href="http://www.ncpd.org/views-news-policy/policy/church/bishops/sacraments">excellent article</a> on sacraments and individuals with disabilities. In my opinion, this paragraph is of utmost importance:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Parents, those who take the place of parents, and pastors are to see to it that children who have reached the use of reason are correctly prepared and are nourished by the Eucharist as early as possible. Pastors are to be vigilant lest any children come to the Holy Banquet who have not reached the use of reason or whom they judge are not sufficiently disposed (Canon 914). It is important to note, however, that the criterion for reception of holy communion is the same for persons with developmental and mental disabilities as for all persons, namely, that the person be able to distinguish the Body of Christ from ordinary food, even if this recognition is evidenced through manner, gesture, or reverential silence rather than verbally. Pastors are encouraged to consult with parents, those who take the place of parents, diocesan personnel involved with disability issues, psychologists, religious educators, and other experts in making their judgment. If it is determined that a parishioner who is disabled is not ready to receive the sacrament, great care is to be taken in explaining the reasons for this decision. Cases of doubt should be resolved in favor of the right of the baptized person to receive the sacrament. The existence of a disability is not considered in and of itself as disqualifying a person from receiving the Eucharist. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In my special needs work, understanding of the Eucharist has been demonstrated by those with severe disabilities and/or communication struggles by:</span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">using nonverbal indicators to show comprehension of catechesis</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">seeing cues of greater reverence when in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">showing improved health and/or calmness after reception of Holy Communion</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">using communication devices to better articulate understanding</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #222222;"><br />Special needs parishioners don't just need catechesis and sacraments. They need to be active, engaged parishioners. </span><a href="http://blog.easterseals.com/a-proud-dads-story/">This is a lovely story</a><span style="color: #222222;"> about a relative of mine. I think it shows how much someone who is differently-abled can contribute to a parish community. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Most importantly, pastors, youth ministers, DREs, and others need to do their best to be open to creative solutions:</span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Allowing for a companion to help someone maneuver around the altar and/or complete their ministerial duties.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Allowing someone to lector or cantor from someplace other than the ambo if it is not handicap accessible. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Allowing a child or person with a cognitive disability to receive Communion and Confirmation (once properly catechized) even if he/she cannot receive Reconciliation (often due to inability to communicate or inability to understand right from wrong).</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Providing a stool or adjustable chair for someone who cannot stand at the ambo to proclaim the Word.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Bringing a ciborium or chalice down to a parishioner who cannot, physically, climb the altar but wishes to be an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Improving sound systems and/or having special devices for those with hearing disabilities.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Translating documents, forms, etc. into Braille when needed. (There may be volunteers in your community who can do this.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Offering sign language interpretation when needed. (There may be volunteers in your community who can do this.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">Providing large print and/or Braille materials. (Side note: I once had trouble finding a large print copy of a novena to St. Lucy. The no</span><span style="color: #222222;">vena I liked wasn't published in large print. This meant I had to use a copier to blow up a copy of a novena for two parishioners loosing their eye sight. #</span>epicCatholicfail<span style="color: #222222;"> ) </span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Providing transportation for those who cannot drive to Mass, parish events, etc.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Installing a ramp when building a new church or redoing an altar.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Making sure all parish meetings/events take place in the handicapped accessible parts of your campus.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Permitting parents to accompany someone to a youth group or asking a teen to befriend an individual (say on the autism spectrum) so he/she can enjoy the benefits of youth programming.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Ensuring staff are trained to administer treatments such as Epi pens, insulin shots, etc. if someone in a their ministry may require this. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Learning about gluten-free hosts and developing a plan for their use to accommodate parishioners with dietary needs. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Having members of K of C, CRHP, or other parish groups "sponsor" a special needs individual who wishes to join the group but may need someone to occasionally simplify themes being discussed, etc.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Using catechetical and prayer materials designed for children if this better matches the cognitive understanding of an adult who has a disability.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Working with neighboring parishes to build ministries for those with disabilities (both physical and intellectual), particularly if your parish is small.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Having special needs religious formation, in some capacity, for parishioners who need it.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Providing spiritual formation for adults who do not have the intellectual abilities of their peers but need a safe, fun place to go to grow in their knowledge of Catholicism, discuss their faith, etc.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Offering a small or private First Communion Mass to someone who may struggle at a regular, busy, loud parish Mass.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Making sure service dogs are permitted in the choir loft, on the altar, etc. as needed so the person needing the dog can minister.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Asking your special needs parishioners and/or their caretakers how you can better involve them in the life of the parish.</span></li>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope this helps and sparks interesting dialogue in your parish about including special needs parishioners in the life of the Church. Please email at firstcatechist@gmail.com if I can help you advocate for a special needs parishioners, develop a curriculum, and/or provide guidance on how to help a parishioner with a particular special need. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What tools have you used to help Catholics with special needs? What other tips do priest and parish staff need? </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-42259564766822188822014-05-13T11:21:00.000-07:002014-07-13T10:38:10.938-07:00Roles of Pastors, DREs, and Others Pastors, DREs, deacons, catechists, teachers, and others definitely have a role in helping raise your child in the faith, but they are not to be the primary educator. How can they back parents and support them in their catechetical role? Would it surprise you to hear that many of the things they do, inadvertently, take away from the child's faith experience and formation rather than enhance it? Let's discuss...<br />
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How many of you belong to parishes that offer Children's Liturgy of the Word? These are programs that remove the children from the Mass- typically from the beginning of the homily until the Offeratory or so. They are typically taken to a location where they can discuss the scriptures or do activities relating to the readings. In theory, this sounds great: let's keep the kids from squirming during the homily, let's help them understand what's happening, and let's give their parents a break. This seems wonderful, doesn't it?Unfortunately, here's what often happens: kids don't learn to sit through Mass and are more antsy on weeks they do not have this opportunity. They also learn that whatever parts of the Mass they miss are non-essential and/or not for them. This attitude can only serve to harm them, spiritually, as they grow. Additionally, children are not as engaged as the grow older (and outgrow CLOW) because they have learned this part of Mass is boring and not for young people.<br />
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Pastors, we need to review our nurseries/cry rooms for this same reason. We need programs to help parents sit with their kids through the Mass. It can be done and done well if parents, pastors, and parish staff work together to come up with creative solutions. Kids look at the cry room as a reward for fussing during Mass. They need to be encouraged and invited to stay and participate in the Liturgy. If you have a cry room, it should have seats and nothing else- no toys, books, or other distractions. What about an adopt-a-grandparent program? Your parishes are full of elderly widows who have snuggled dozens of children and grandchildren over the years. Invite them to meet up with families with 2, 3, or more little ones to help them sit through the Mass. Often, parents could keep little ones situated if they just had one or two extra sets of hands. Or what about using this as a service hour opportunity for your teens?<br />
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My other major pet peeve is RE classes on Sunday morning. Whether it's during Mass times or sandwiched between Mass times, it typically creates a problem. During Mass times, we are telling parents to get rid of their kids and implying that class is more important than Mass attendance. Oh, we say this isn't the case. We tell the parents we expect them to attend Mass at a different time, but we know the majority aren't doing this. Why even make this a possibility? If you must have Sunday religious education (tight facility scheduling is often the reasoning as well as it being the only day students are free), do it in the late afternoons or evenings, separate from Mass times. This might seem like an inconvenience, but at some point we have to gently and lovingly guide parents to make RE a priority over other activities of the week.<br />
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I once worked at a parish where RE classes were sandwiched between 9 and 11 AM Masses. What a disaster! There was constant pressure to finish Mass in 55 minutes to get the students to class. Catechists who attended 9 AM Mass had no set up time and were rushing in the room at the same time as the kids. Many left after communion because Mass often ran a tad over an hour. We had 60 minutes for class, but catechists were lucky to get 40 minutes of teaching time. Around 10:15 you could finally start. We dismissed at 11 which meant those who attended the later Mass were forever wandering in late. It was awful for everyone: students & catechists, parents, etc. The worst part was the disruptions from the constant stream of kids and catechists coming in late for the 11 AM Mass. Please, please, please offer classes during the afternoons/evenings of the week and avoid the temptation to fall into the Sunday morning "convenience" routine.<br />
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Curriculum choice is an enormous struggle. I won't lambaste specific publishers here, but there are a number of curriculum that I won't touch with a 10-foot pole. They are either watered down, overly simplistic, teach to the head and not the heart, or are just poorly written. Let me list some of my favorite resources here:<br />
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<li><a href="http://www.cgsusa.org/">Catechesis of the Good Shepherd</a> does a terrific job at spiritually reaching the kids where they are at. Love their program and cannot promote it enough.</li>
<li>While I haven't used it yet, I am very intrigued by Our Sunday Visitor's <a href="http://aliveinchrist.osv.com/">Alive in Christ</a> and think it could be an amazing program. I was planning to adapt it at my last parish after it had been out a year or two. I continue to hear wonderful things about it.</li>
<li>There are too many to list here, but <a href="http://www.smp.org/">St. Mary's Press </a>and <a href="http://ascensionpress.com/">Ascension Press</a> have some amazing books, resources, and supplements I cannot live without. </li>
<li><a href="http://www.ignatius.com/promotions/faithandlife/">Ignatius Press </a>puts out a great curriculum which is very solid.</li>
<li>I am smitten with the work of Matthew Kelly and the <a href="http://dynamiccatholic.com/">Dynamic Catholic Institute.</a> I write my own sacramental prep curricula, but I think his could prove to be outstanding. I am eager to preview their Confirmation and other prep programs as they are released. </li>
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I see the role of the pastors, DREs, and others to truly discern what parents need and support them. They need to pray on, discern, and explore long-term implications of the programs they offer. If programs look convenient but will not be best for the spiritual needs of the kids, the pastor and DRE need the backbone (and support) to make tough decisions such as eliminating programs, changing times, etc. These changes needn't happen overnight, but if your community works together and doesn't always resort to the easiest solution, real spiritual benefits can happen for families and change can start in the hearts of your youngest parishioners.<br />
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Pastors and parish staff also need to catechize parents, particularly from the period of baptism through First Communion. Parents need tools, ideas, help and resources to raise their children in the faith. They need the parish to reach out to them after baptismal prep and prior to enrolling in 1st grade for school/RE. They need to support parents in attending parish programs by offering child care during formation opportunities as often as possible. More parents would come if it were offered as a "night out" opportunity with wine, snacks, and free baby sitting!<br />
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Well formed parents are well formed primary catechists. Well formed primary catechists will help your parish make changes that keep the family together for Masses and make Mass the #1 priority of the week. Don't make sudden changes your parish isn't ready for. Improve adult education about the Mass and gently lead parents to see Children's Liturgy of the Word as nonessential. Build programs that allow older widows in the parish to sit with the parents of six kids to help hold babies and soothe cranky toddlers. The need for nurseries will diminish as families experience the joy of peacefully worshiping together. Find RE options that make Sunday morning RE unnecessary.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-28244138909943287642014-05-11T13:10:00.001-07:002014-07-06T23:32:46.708-07:00Helping others follow the Good ShepherdHopefully, by now, my readers know that I am not against talking during Mass. Sometimes it is essential to help kids understand what is happening. Unfortunately, I have become so cranky, particular, and caught up in myself that in my "old" age, I am not so understanding of adults talking during Mass. I'm also very anal retentive about what style music is sung during Mass and several other minute factors. God is really challenging me with this lately and for that I am grateful. This is not so much about being a child's "first catechist" but how we are all called to catechize those who need it, regardless of age.<br />
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On Good Friday, I had got to church early and was sitting with close friends. Two women behind me kept whispering. Loudly. Over the prelude hymn. It continued, occasionally, during the Lord's Passion. I was frustrated and annoyed. I would, occasionally, glance over my shoulder hoping they would get the hint and shush. It wasn't until we neared the veneration of the cross that I made out enough of their conversation to understand what was happening behind me. The women weren't Catholic (or at least not currently practicing). They were flipping through the missalette and trying to figure out what things like "veneration of the cross" meant. Sheesh. I felt like a heel. Since we had to leave in silence, I didn't get to apologize for being so rude to them. I made sure to give a friendly smile, though, when I caught the eye of one of them.<br />
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My brother is struggling with returning to the Church right now. While I won't go into his private journey here, I will say that he asks lots of amazing questions about faith, scripture, and Catholicism. Fortunately, my mom (a high school theology teacher) and I usually have answers or know where to direct him. That's all you need to know to understand what happened today.<br />
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As a catechist in <a href="http://www.cgsusa.org/">Catechesis of the Good Shepherd</a>, I am always eager for Good Shepherd Sunday. As I sat down in the pew, I told my niece that these were my favorite readings of the year. I was as giddy as a school girl and couldn't wait for the readings and homily. My brother and his girlfriend arrived just as Mass was beginning and I ended up seated next to my brother. Even though he comes to Mass with some regularity, I haven't sat next to him recently.<br />
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During the second reading, he had questions about Peter: when was he born? when did he die? was he Jesus' contemporary? etc. They were excellent questions and important. I patiently answered them. I tried to get refocused for the gospel, but he had more questions. "Is this a parable?" When I explained it came from the Last Supper discourse, "why are we reading a Last Supper story after Easter?" During the homily, Fr. mentioned John, the Beloved Disciple. "Was that John the Baptist?" "What do you mean he died before Jesus? How?" "That book Fr. is recommending (on Marian consecration) sounds good. I need a tool like that."<br />
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I know I sighed a few times, but always with a smile. We were talking, a lot, and probably annoying people around us even though we tried to whisper. But it was SO GOOD. And fruitful. I love that my brother cares so much about Mass, scripture, and his faith, even if he is a little lost right now. Spiritually, my brother is like a skeptical, young child, trying to understand his faith. I need to honor this with the same patience and compassion as I would a child. I wouldn't have been at all annoyed if my niece was asking these questions. And I heard enough of the homily to know Father was talking about using Mary to learn how to follow the Good Shepherd. My brother might need to go through my mom and I to get to Mary right now while he sorts out his feelings/beliefs. And that's a good thing because any journey in the direction of Christ is an outstanding journey!!<br />
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The talking didn't stop after the homily. During communion, they announced we would sing that Glory and Praise classic: Gift of Finest Wheat. My brother leans over and whispers, "I've always liked this song. It's a good one, isn't it?" I smiled and nodded. Inside, I was cringing. As I listened to my brother sing along, I realize how great it was that we had music at our parish that feeds him, even if it doesn't feed me. I'd prefer some nice chant, but I am SO GLAD that we attend a Mass where we can both be fed, especially while he isn't being fed by the Eucharist.<br />
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At Communion ("ARGH. I'm trying to focus on the Eucharist right now!), my brother asked if he could go to a different communion line so my mom could give my niece (who just made First Communion two weeks ago) the Eucharist. Non-Catholics and non-practicing Catholics cross their arms over their chest to get a blessing from the priest/deacons at our parish. If you are in a line with an EMHC, he/she places a hand on your shoulder and says, "Receive Jesus in your heart." After Mass, I heard my brother thank my mom for praying with him. I can only imagine that theirs was more intimate than just this simple phrase. I'm glad I didn't ignore him and encouraged him to go to Mom. I"m sure it made her Mother's Day.<br />
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If we are truly going to be stewards of the new evangelization, we need to be open to attending Mass with those like my brother and letting those like him sit and talk around us. My brother is not irreverent, rude, or disruptive at Mass. I mistook his behavior as disruptive at first because I was focused on what I wanted to think, hear and pray about. I wasn't focused on his needs. This is not my Mass. It is the congregation's Mass and I owe it to other members to help them get as much out of Mass as I am trying to. By stepping outside of myself, I can receive so many more gifts during Mass. Perhaps, one day, my brother will return to the Table of the Lord. In the meantime, it's terrific watching his journey.<br />
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So, I didn't<i><b> hear </b></i>the words of the Good Shepherd during Mass due to all the talking. But after Mass, I stopped to <b><i>listen </i></b>to the Good Shepherd in my heart. The Good Shepherd's message to me? "Be a catechist. Treasure these discussions with your brother. Be patient. Don't be annoyed. Help him, but let this journey be his own. These conversations and questions are more important than anything right now. How would you respond to a child in your atrium having these questions/doubts?" And my brother? He openly accepted two <a href="http://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/">Lighthouse Catholic Media CDs </a>I got for him after Mass. He's also due over here for dinner and drinks shortly. We promised to to continue the discussion. God is good.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-74545114545606093242014-05-11T12:01:00.001-07:002014-05-11T12:24:50.335-07:00Young children (3-6) and Mass attendanceAs promised in my post about<a href="http://www.firstcatechists.blogspot.com/2014/04/infants-toddlers-and-mass-attendance.html"> infants and toddlers</a> during Mass, I'll continue to talk about ways you can help children of different ages engage during the Mass so you have less whining, trips to the cry room, and climbing on the pews. I cannot guarantee I'll eliminate it completely, but with consistency, I am confident you will have better behaved little ones.<br />
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I actually think this is the most fun age to be with kids during Mass. There is so much to teach them and so many ways to engage them. I see so many parents with their children of this age sticking them in the pew with a bag of cheerios, a coloring book, and/or toys. My first piece of advice is: STOP! If you choose to allow anything, make sure it is Catholic in nature and make a plan for weaning off of it. For instance, start by only allowing it during the Liturgy of the Word (put away during the Offertory), then only allow it during the homily, and after 6 months- 1 year, tell them they may no longer bring anything to "do" during Mass.<br />
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First of all, try to find a Mass time that works well for your family schedule and doesn't interfere with meal/snack/nap times. Also, find a calming routine for the ride to Mass. It's likely you've spent the last hour feeding,diapering, and dressing little ones. There may have been yelling and tears by the kids and the parents.You need to use the walk/ride to Mass to get focused. You can play religious music in the car (preferably chant to quiet people down and get into that reflective mood), you can discuss what you're thankful for this week, you can practice learning prayers, and/or decide who you want to pray for when you get to church.<br />
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I highly recommend trying to get to Mass 10-15 minutes early when you're bringing little ones. This might seem ridiculous. If your children aren't behaving, why would you want to have more time at church with them? Here's why:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Upon arriving, visit the restrooms and make everyone TRY to go. This will cut down on/eliminate trips during Mass. </li>
<li>Use the gathering space or narthex to say 'hi' to friends, visit, and ask any last minute questions not related to Mass. Remind your kids you will only answer questions about church once inside.</li>
<li>Let them wander a little. Take them to see a statue or stained glass window and discuss it. Pray in front of the tabernacle. Light a candle. Get the wiggles out, but in an appropriate way that gets them ready for Mass.</li>
<li>Find seats up front, preferably letting the children take turns choosing. Kids do better when they can see all the action and having a say in where they sit will help.</li>
<li>Assign jobs to your little ones: putting the kneeler up and down, passing out hymnals, and putting the envelope in the basket. Especially until they are only enough to receive the Eucharist, they need ways of feeling their presence is essential. These don't seem "religious" but it will help your child with paying attention to what is happening and when.</li>
</ul>
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During the readings, let your children follow along and help them. I know some people are big on hearing the word of God proclaimed instead of reading it and I don't underestimate this importance. However, your children are going to be asking you "when is it over?" so being able to show them will help. They can learn patience this way. At this age, my niece used the missalette to anticipate her favorite part of Mass: the Alleluia. By age 5, she could find this word on the page and knew how many more readings until that song. Until they are old enough to follow orally and desire to do so, the missalette is a huge help! Plus, you're reinforcing reading skills! Be sure to do the same with ALL the prayers so your children can work on learning them. </div>
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Depending on the context of the readings, you may wish to whisper a 1 or 2 sentence summary of the reading to your child at the end. It can be simple: This reading is about forgiving people. They just talked about listening to your mom and dad. Do the same during the homily. Your children will have more of a desire to sit still and behave if they can understand how this relates to them. If this isn't your forte, check out <a href="http://www.firstcatechists.blogspot.com/2014/04/samples-and-help-request.html">some samples</a> of the curriculum I'm writing to help with this. I prefer this curriculum being used before Mass, but you may need to use it during until you get the hang of how to help the kids understand what's happening.</div>
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Don't be afraid to whisper narrative of other parts of the Mass to children. They will pay more attention if you are helping them understand what is happening and why. "Fr. is going to explain the readings now." "The bread and wine are coming up. They will become Jesus' Body and Blood." "The bread and wine are now Jesus in the Eucharist."<br />
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Find out how your church arranges for people to bring up the gifts. Usually, it involves checking with an usher or a sign up method of some sort. This morning, my niece asked to leave 10 minutes earlier than usual in hopes we could take up the gifts. We were too late, but she wasn't disappointed since she understands the system. I'm glad she was so eager to get to Mass and finds ways to make the experience more valuable to her.<br />
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A great way my parish engages kids is during the Offertory. Starting a few years ago, the ushers place several baskets around the foot of the altar. Baskets are still passed to the rest of the congregation. Children are encouraged to bring up their donations. (Our parish has awesome <a href="https://www.osvoffertory.com/Parish/Offertory/Envelopes/ChildrenTeenEnvelopes.aspx">tithing envelopes</a> the kids can get in the back of church. In addition or in place of gifts of treasure, kids write down their gifts of time/talent. More often than note, they publish 4-5 of these "gifts" in the bulletin the next week under a section labeled "Children's Stewardship". Each post is signed with first name and last initial. They are usually things such as: "Helped Mom with the dishes." "Read to my little brother." "Visited Grandma in the nursing home." My niece has felt like a celebrity each time she has been published over the years.) At Mass, I watch dozens of children race up around the altar with their envelopes, often holding the hands of their siblings to give their weekly contribution. Again, this simple process helps the kids get more out of Mass and feel they are contributing.<br />
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If your parish permits, let your children come up to Communion with you for a blessing. Please take note of how your parish engages in this practice. Only priest and deacons can bless. At our parish, lay EMHC place a hand on the shoulder of individuals coming up with arms crossed. They do not bless, but rather pray aloud, "receive Jesus in your heart". Having your children come with you rather than sitting in the pew will help increase their desire for the Eucharist as they grow older.<br />
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The most important thing you can be doing throughout Mass is praying all prayers and responses and singing, even quietly. Your children need to see you participating to foster their own willingness to participate. It also teaches them (and reinforces for us) that the Mass is about offering ourselves back to God. We do that by praying fully and wholly with our hearts, minds, souls, voices, and bodies. Our gestures, attitude, and participation impact how our children pray at Mass. Similarly, if you get int he car and complain about the length/content of homily, how the cantor was dressed, etc. your child will think there is nothing worthwhile at church and no point in attending.<br />
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After Mass, encourage the kids to talk with the priest and thank him. Visit with people you know (in the narthex or gathering space- not the sanctuary). Get to know someone new, especially if you sit by the same people each week. Building relationships with your church community will help the children want to go to be able to visit with their parish family. You want your children to equate Mass attendance with as many positive experiences as possible- not with the place where you go to not move or talk for an hour.<br />
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Lastly, parents need to look at the curriculum being used by their school and religious education programs. Does it help the children fall in love with Christ and the Eucharist? Does is help them understand the Mass (not just memorize what it includes)? Regular readers know that I am a huge advocate for <a href="http://www.cgsusa.org/">Catechesis of the Good Shepherd</a>. The reason is because it does all these things and more. As children get to know Christ, the Good Shepherd, they desire to be at Mass. It makes sense to them once they know the prayers and reasoning behind them. They know to look for certain gestures and prayers that are essential in the Liturgy of the Eucharist.<br />
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I hope this helps all of you parents. Please post your other ideas for engaging your young children at Mass in the comments.<br />
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And, since I happened to complete this post today, let's add Happy Mother's Day to all mothers: natural, adopted, step, god. I add special prayers going out to mothers who have lost children through abortion, miscarriage, or dying young. No mom should ever have to bury a child and this day is tough for so many people.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-60738622177786529562014-04-28T06:52:00.002-07:002014-04-28T06:58:45.348-07:00Heaven IS for Real (and so are miracles)Like many of you, I read Todd Burpo's book, <a href="http://heavenisforreal.net/">"Heaven is for Real"</a> a few years back and then had the pleasure of seeing the movie this weekend. If you aren't familiar with the story (<i><b>spoiler alert)</b></i>, it's the true story of a boy who nearly died during an operation. During his operation he had an experience (we'll discuss what sort of experience later) where he visited heaven. Over the course of several months, he shares the story with his father about what he saw, learned, and experienced. <br />
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The story is very moving, but several things really struck me today (more so than when I read the book a few years back). These things relate to children, their spiritual lives, and how we respond to their spiritual experiences. I'll be revealing bits and pieces of the book and movie as I go, so please don't continue reading if it's important to you to be surprised. I won't be posting "<b><i>spoiler alert"</i></b> each and every time I mention the book/film.<br />
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Colton Burpo is a typical, 4 year-old boy living in Nebraska with his parents and older sister. His father is pastor of the Wesleyan church the family attends. The father's profession figures greatly into this story. Colton suffers a ruptured appendix and undergoes lifesaving surgery. Naturally, his parents are distraught and call many parishioners to pray during the surgery. There are agonizing hours where they are unsure if their little boy will survive or not. <br />
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Colton Burpo survives, but that is not the true miracle of this story. In the weeks following, Colton and his dad take a vacation to celebrate his recovery. On the trip, they visit a park. Colton tells his dad he has been there before. His dad assures him they have not. Colton says he was there "when the angels sang to him". At his dad's prompting, Colton reveals more. During the operation, Colton says he left his body. He witnessed his dad praying and shouting with God in the chapel while his mom called parishioners in another part of the hospital. These things happened, but Todd knows Colton would have no way of knowing that. <br />
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In the days to come, Colton reveals many things to his father: what Jesus looks like, stories about his deceased great-grandfather, and many more. Todd Burpo struggles. He wants to believe his son, but this doesn't make sense. He didn't die. It wasn't a near-death experience.<br />
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Here's where I struggle. Colton's mom does not believe her son. She and many others dismiss him. It's as though they do not believe it's possible for a young child to have a profound, religious experience. It wouldn't bother me so much if we weren't discussing a pastor's wife and devout parishioners. It made me sad for Colton. Neither the movie or book seemed to show that the unbelievers told Colton directly they didn't believe him. <br />
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Children are capable of deep, real, and profound religious experiences. That's one of the reasons I love <a href="http://www.cgsusa.org/">Catechesis of the Good Shepherd</a>.We allow children to grow deeply in their relationship with Christ, the Good Shepherd. We never dismiss the child's profound interactions with the mysterious. Rather, we acknowledge and validate it. The video below shows a catechist's plea to bring CGS to her parish and describes the program perfectly.<br />
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This weekend, Catholics worldwide celebrated the joyous canonizations of Popes John XXIII and John Paul II. We know that part of the canonization process involves the validation of miracles. This made me reflect further on the film. I'm inclined to believe that if Colton Burpo was Catholic, he would have had a more positive experience and more believers, initially. As Catholics, we look for miracles and know they are everywhere. We witness a miracle each and every time we attend Mass. I think one of the (many) beauties of our faith is our willingness to honor and acknowledge that the bridge between heaven and earth is short and knows no bounds. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2InQXmdEGBNqK0G7UppxDRwnEou0Z4QEtskBNai8m66uaOsYMsJCtYrynS20ztuCtpVpNIXWew_zNHRZFHZCJS1sBTFYPHteGq2ofMxeZERiBGOeMRmNrrjkPD3dAxWBNab0DyczS9t3R/s1600/JP+II+and+CGS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2InQXmdEGBNqK0G7UppxDRwnEou0Z4QEtskBNai8m66uaOsYMsJCtYrynS20ztuCtpVpNIXWew_zNHRZFHZCJS1sBTFYPHteGq2ofMxeZERiBGOeMRmNrrjkPD3dAxWBNab0DyczS9t3R/s1600/JP+II+and+CGS.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saint John Paul II visiting Sofia Cavalletti in her Rome atria.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Did Colton Burpo visit heaven? I don't know. I do know that something
miraculous took place. This miraculous event allowed him to see and
experience things that do not seem to be of this world. In my opinion,
Colton probably didn't visit heaven. Why do I think that? I think that
Colton and those who have near-death experiences do not fully experience
heaven. I think heaven is truly beyond description. I think that Colton
and those with near-death experiences have miraculous encounters with
God, Jesus, angels, and/or deceased loved ones. I do, however, believe these
experiences are true and real. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they did visit
heaven. Either way, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that
someone experienced a miracle and chose to share that miracle with us. <br />
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Eventually, Colton Burpo's mother comes to believe him. She learns that Colton met a sister in heaven, the unborn child she had lost in the womb a few years before. It was beautiful to see her come to accept her child's experience as real. I just felt sad that it took her so long to get there. <br />
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I hope you leave this post wanting to honor the religious experiences of those children most near and dear to you. You might be humbled, surprised, and inspired by doing so. Do you have stories of your child's miraculous or profound encounter with God? I hope you'll share it in the comments!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05000595677909243208noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-18008095713686614022014-04-25T19:03:00.003-07:002014-04-26T05:00:55.227-07:00(Un) veiledIn an <a href="http://www.firstcatechists.blogspot.com/2014/04/preparing-to-be-catechist.html">earlier post</a>, I mentioned the need to step up your Catholic game when expecting a child. This is something we should all do now and again: take stock of our spiritual life and add in new practices that we find helpful.<br />
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Especially for those readers who don't know me, I thought I should share on a way I stepped up my Catholicism lately and how I discerned it. This is not a post about me being holy, pious, reverent, or a better person/Catholic than anyone. In fact, it's about how I'm a fairly lousy Catholic despite my best efforts and a rotten sinner in need of Christ's mercy on a daily basis. While this doesn't relate directly to Catholic parenting, I hope it will help you see how we all need to regroup our prayer lives now and again and help our children do this as well. Doing this can make us better spouses and parents. In my case, it makes me better at serving others and the Church.<br />
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So, how did I step up my game? I recently returned to the ancient practice of <a href="http://www.fisheaters.com/theveil.html">veiling</a> at Mass or in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. It's one of the most difficult things I've ever done for my spiritual life, but it is so very helpful that I find the sacrifices that come with it totally pay off. Unlike other spiritual practices, this is a very public choice. This makes the discernment process a bit more involved than just deciding to say a rosary each night before bed or attend Eucharistic Adoration once a week. <br />
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About 2 years ago, my oldest and dearest friend, Amy, announced that she was veiling at Mass and in Adoration. I was intrigued, but it wasn't for me (or so I thought). I asked her about it, did some reading on it, and forgot about it. I saw her in a chapel veil on a few visits, but didn't see how it was relevant to me. I knew another friend, Amanda, veiled but I didn't think it was
noteworthy that two holy, inspirational women in my life were veiling. How sad is that? Last Lent, my (then) coworker announced that she was going to veil during Lent. It made me take pause. I did some more reading on veiling and decided to give it a try.<br />
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There are many wonderful reasons different women give for veiling and others who struggle with it or don't get as much out of it. I respect a woman's choice in regards to veiling and do not think it is helpful for all. Many Catholic men find it very respectful and value it too, which came as a surprise to me. Here are links to some opinions and personal witnesses which I found helpful in discerning, even if I didn't fully agree with/relate to each of them:<br />
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<a href="http://chapelveil.blogspot.com/2012/03/why-i-wear-catholic-chapel-veil.html">http://chapelveil.blogspot.com/2012/03/why-i-wear-catholic-chapel-veil.html </a><br />
<a href="http://catholicknight.blogspot.com/2007/12/chapel-veil-campaign.html">http://catholicknight.blogspot.com/2007/12/chapel-veil-campaign.html </a><br />
<a href="http://www.arsvivendiblog.com/chapel-veils-why-i-stopped-wearing/">http://www.arsvivendiblog.com/chapel-veils-why-i-stopped-wearing/ </a><br />
<a href="http://www.conversiondiary.com/2013/02/notes-from-beneath-the-veil.html"> http://www.conversiondiary.com/2013/02/notes-from-beneath-the-veil.html</a><br />
<a href="http://catholichusband.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/the-veil-a-husbands-experience/">http://catholichusband.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/the-veil-a-husbands-experience/ </a><br />
<a href="http://www.catholic.com/blog/michelle-arnold/the-veil-and-i">http://www.catholic.com/blog/michelle-arnold/the-veil-and-i</a><br />
<a href="http://www.fisheaters.com/theveilthoughts.html">http://www.fisheaters.com/theveilthoughts.html </a><br />
<a href="http://catholicinsight.com/to-wear-or-not-to-wear-church-veils-and-mantillas/">http://catholicinsight.com/to-wear-or-not-to-wear-church-veils-and-mantillas/</a><br />
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I'm not what some would call a "rad trad". I receive Eucharist in the hand. I attend a Novus Ordo parish and (likely) always will since I don't feel particularly called to the <span class="st">Tridentine Mass. I do enjoy a good Byzantine Liturgy now and then, but that's a whole separate post! Veiling is not for a specific type of person or type of Catholic. I am confident this is the biggest misconception in veiling. </span><br />
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The first time I veiled, I was downright petrified. After a while, I forgot about it and found I liked how it felt on my head. It was like Catholic blinders. I'd start to get sidetracked at Mass, see that piece of lace out of the corner of my eye, and return my focus to the Blessed Sacrament. I veiled for about 2 months and then grew weary of it. It was too much work to remember a veil and bobby pins. It drew too much attention to me. I felt odd if I dressed more casually for Mass and still veiled. And I was being judged by coworkers at the parish where I worked. Notice how all of these reasons are about me, not my relationship with Christ. Hmmm...<br />
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Fast forward to the Thursday prior to Palm Sunday. I was at daily Mass and something just struck me during the Eucharistic Prayer. I knew I needed to start veiling again. I went home and texted Amy, asking prayer for the courage to start wearing my veil. Amy promised to pray and then informed me she had stopped veiling as her toddler son was pulling it off and it had become too much of a challenge. That did it for me. I assured her I would begin veiling again for not just myself, but for her as well.<br />
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Having moved a few months ago, things are not always easily located. Palm Sunday came and went and I still hadn't located my veils. (Yes. Plural. Veils. I have many. More on that in a minute.) I finally found them and decided I would wear a traditional, black mantilla the rest of Holy Week.For the first few days, I was doing it more for Amy than myself. Somewhere during the Mass of the Lord's Supper, it hit me like a bolt of lightening. God reminded me of a few sins I have been particularly struggling with lately. I felt in my heart that by the humble act of veiling, God was going to help me. I needed to do this to remind myself of submitting to God, not myself. I won't say anymore, but let's just say I had the feeling of, "Through veiling, God will show me how to stay on a better path."<br />
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Getting dressed up for all the special Masses and prayer services, veiling was easy. God was going to help me and life was great. At the Easter Vigil, I was so eager to bust out my beautiful, white mantilla with a lovely cross on the back. My mom's friend approached and introduced herself before Mass and complimented me on the practice of veiling. It was something she had pondered doing but hadn't make a regular habit of it. It validated my decision to veil. Maybe other people needed me to set the example so they could find the courage to veil too. Woo hoo! Veiling felt awesome!<br />
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Amy was in town visiting. I caught up with her briefly after Mass. She said, "You look so beautiful." I knew she didn't mean my hair, make up, or dress. I knew she didn't mean I had a beautiful face. I knew she meant I looked humble and prayerful. God's light was shining through me in a different way because I was veiling. (At least, I think this is what she meant.) It warmed my heart and I felt beautiful in the core of my soul. Sure, my soul is stained with sin, but I am showing God, myself, and others that I want to keep trying to do better.<br />
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I had trouble sleeping all week and didn't get up for Mass Monday-Thursday, even though my alarm is set each morning. This morning, I awoke 10 minutes before my alarm went off. I thanked God for helping me to wake refreshed and ready for Mass. Then, my stomach dropped. I haven't veiled at daily Mass yet. Shoot. My students will be there. They will all see me. What will my co-workers think? I wavered back and forth about going to Mass or, if I did go, wearing my veil.<br />
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"God, help me to do this. I know I need to go to Mass and I know I need to veil. Give me the courage." And God did. I went to Mass, sat in the front pew (I'm like a 5 year-old. I need to see EVERYTHING.) with my veil on. And you know what? I didn't burst into flames. I didn't die of embarrassment. The priest didn't point and say, "Take that off you silly girl." What did happen was I got more out of the Eucharist. I felt more reverent. It also encourages delightful conversations with people about veiling after Mass. That is always worth it. <br />
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The Communion hymn at Mass was Twila Paris' "How Beautiful". During the verse: <br />
<i>And as He laid down His life<br />We offer this sacrifice<br />That we will live just as he died<br />Willing to pay the price<br />Willing to pay the price</i><br />
it hit me that it was important for me to make this simple sacrifice of veiling. It was a way to show God my gratitude. <br />
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There are plenty of pros and cons each person will face with choosing to veil. Right now, my reasons for veiling are this:<br />
<ul>
<li>It helps me focus more on the Holy Eucharist.</li>
<li>Taking an extra step of reverence when entering Mass or approaching the Blessed Sacrament makes me feel like I'm giving something small back to God.</li>
<li>It helps unite me to our Holy Mother who would have always warn a head covering. </li>
<li>It makes me less vain about my hair and make-up at Mass.</li>
<li>I feel confident God will help me with some struggles in my life as I continue to do this.</li>
<li>I veil for those who cannot or will not (but want to) veil right now.</li>
<li>It makes me so very humble when I enter church.</li>
</ul>
I have terrific arguments in my head against it:<br />
<ul>
<li>It's old fashioned.</li>
<li>People might stare, laugh, judge, etc.</li>
<li>People will think I am trying to be super pious. </li>
<li>I will embarrass my parents, siblings, and niece when we go to Mass.</li>
<li>The priest will think I am trying too hard.</li>
</ul>
Notice the pros are all about my spiritual life and the cons are all about others. I need to put my spiritual life first and take this little step, even if it causes some unnecessary attention at times. I do try to make veiling fun. Traditionally, single women wore white and married women wore black. I wear veils of all different styles and colors. Some are ones I have made and others are ones I have purchased. I've seen some really cool crocheted ones I like. I hope to learn crocheting soon so I can make even more. I try to match the veils to my outfit and/or the liturgical season.Veiling can be awkward enough for me at times, so having a little fun with it helps get me excited over it.<br />
<br />
I am not saying veiling is for everyone. It helps me, but
it may not benefit you (or your wife, daughter, etc.). You need to
experiment with prayer and Catholicism to find something new and
different that helps you. If you have older children (ages 10+), help them experiment with their faith through praying the rosary, saying a novena, memorizing a new prayer, or attending Eucharistic Adoration... whatever it might be that is new to them. Whether it's a chapel veil, saying a rosary, attending daily Mass, or going to Confession more often, take time to discern how an extra step in your spiritual life can help you and your family members. Like me, I am sure you'll be pleasantly surprised. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-88580656817176525202014-04-24T16:19:00.000-07:002014-04-24T16:19:39.684-07:00Infants, Toddlers, and Mass AttendanceParents know it's a crazy adventure taking a young child anywhere. There's the diaper bag, the bottles or snacks, the blanket, the toys, the car seat, the stroller, and then some. How parents of even 1 survive with a vehicle smaller than a minibus, I'll never know. Taking children to Mass to requires no less organization and planning, but it can require less gear than you might be thinking you need or are currently bringing.<br />
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It's important you start bringing your child to Mass each time you go as soon as possible. For most infants, this means within the first few weeks of life. Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances (premature infants or those with health problems who can't risk public exposure, etc.), but especially once your child is baptized you should really try to get him/her to Mass each week. This might seem difficult and stressful but with some simple tips, you should be able to make it easier on your family.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><i><b>Take your child's schedule into consideration</b></i>. Attend Mass at a time when he/she is most likely to be already rested and fed. This is tougher with an infant, but will become more doable over time. It's also harder with several children on different schedules, but do your best. Flexibility is a huge part of being a parent and Mass attendance requires this flexibility. </li>
<li>Once your child begins potty training,<i><b> hit the bathrooms before you leave the house and as you enter the church</b></i>. This will establish the habit that we don't leave the sanctuary during Mass (if at all possible).</li>
<li><b><i>Sit up front. </i></b>I know this is stressful for some folks and we know Catholics don't like the front pew, but this will be helpful for many reasons. As your child grows, he/she will want to see what's going on. Sometimes, I think children fuss because they cannot see or experience what is happening. Sitting in the first 5 pews or so allows your child to be close to the action. Feel free to sit near an aisle so you can escape quickly, if need be.</li>
<li><b><i>Use cry rooms sparingly, if at all.</i></b> Cry rooms are great and have their place. You never know when a child is going to start screaming uncontrollably and need a quiet place to regroup. Don't make the cry room a habit because then your child will have a much tougher time sitting through Mass as he/she grows. Go to the cry room when you cannot quickly/easily quiet your child. Return to Mass as soon as your child is ready.</li>
<li><i><b>Narrate the Mass.</b></i> At some point (I am guessing between the ages of 1-2), most parents start narrating things to teach their child and increase vocabulary. "We are walking past the blue house." "Mom is making chicken for supper." We need to make this a part of Mass with our infant and toddler children. "We are hearing the First Reading." "Father Bill is giving the homily." "Mom and Dad are receiving Jesus in the Eucharist." Your child is likely to be less fussy and antsy if he/she knows what's going on as he/she grows. Plus, quiet whispering in the ear should keep them feeling engaged even if they don't understand what's happening. When you enter church, walk around, point things out, and teach them. </li>
<li><b><i>Participate.</i></b> Your child will struggle to learn the prayers, responses, and songs if you never say them. Instead of singing/saying them aloud, whisper them to your child if you're holding him/her. I am confident children struggle to learn prayers because when we say them all together, they cannot discern the different words. If you whisper the prayers to them, they will focus more on your voice and begin learning the individual words. Case in point: until I was old enough to read, I was sure the words to the hymn "Glory and Praise to Our God" sang about "and alone gives thy do-or-days." This never made sense until I was old enough to use a hymnal and learned it was "and alone gives light to our days." </li>
<li><b><i>Pack light.</i></b> Stick to one blanket or cuddly toy and a bottle (or breast-feeding cover). For infants, I recommend the doll be the <a href="http://www.totallycatholic.com/children.htm" target="_blank">Baptism Bear</a> or the <a href="http://www.catholicchild.com/MY-LOVING-JESUS-DOLL/productinfo/20653/" target="_blank">Loving Jesus Doll</a> rather than just their normal teddy. For a toddler, consider finding their patron saint from <a href="http://www.softsaints.com/dolls.aspx" target="_blank">Soft Saints</a>. The more you pack when your child is young, the more they will expect
snacks, toys, and distractions as they grow. Plus, having this special toy just for church will make it a relaxing, pleasant time. Of course, bring the
diaper bag if you're expecting to have to change the little one and
don't forget spit up rags and other essentials. Just leave out the
rattles, books, and other things. </li>
</ul>
Lest you think I'm crazy about how important Mass attendance is for these little ones, I'd like to point out that our own <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/13/pope-francis-breastfeeding_n_4585970.html" target="_blank">Holy Father</a> agrees with me. I feel for those of you who have pastors who discourage little ones in the sanctuary during Mass. However, I think if you take these or similar steps, encourage your friends and family to do the same, we can show priests how these littlest parishioners do belong in Mass. <br />
<ul>
</ul>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-57581790627055681132014-04-22T18:35:00.002-07:002014-04-22T18:35:44.689-07:00Failure?Happy Easter! Alleluia! Christos voskrese! Voistinu voskrese! (Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!)<br />
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Parson my absence from this site. I really took some great time this Holy Week to attend many Masses and Church services (Chrism Mass, Mass of the Lord's Supper, Tenebrae, Easter Vigil, etc.) to help me immerse in the Triduum and spiritually prepare for a glorious Easter Season. Now, it's back to work for this blogger and educator.<br />
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This post has been rolling around in my head for the past week and a half. I finally have the courage (and proper words) to share it. I have an 8 year-old niece who is preparing to make her First Communion on Sunday. I couldn't be more excited for her, but I had a really sad moment with her in the car about 10 days ago.<br />
<br />
We were driving to her mom's house and used the 40 minute drive to blare some music. She was using my tablet and put on some country music she knew. I had to burst out laughing when she started singing about "drinking cheap wine". When I told her I was laughing at her singing about drinking, she said, "What? I'll be drinking it in two weeks!" I chuckled, turned down the radio, and decided to take advantage of this catechetical moment.<br />
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"Well, J, you know it isn't really wine. It's Jesus' Blood."- Aunt Kathy<br />
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"No, it's not."- J<br />
<br />"Yes, honey. It is. A miracle happens every time we go to Mass. We don't know how it happens, but we know the bread changes to Jesus' Body and the wine becomes his Blood." -Aunt Kathy<br />
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"It does not." -J<br />
<br />
"It looks like bread and wine. It tastes the same, but it's very different." Aunt Kathy<br />
<br />
At this point, I decide to drop it. J is giving me annoyed looks and shaking her head. She has had a long, exhausting weekend. She is tired and cranky. She has to get up for school in 12 hours. Now is not the time to argue about transubstantiation.<br />
<br />
I wait a few days and bring this to my mother's attention. Mom has been J's primary catechist (more on that later). Mom is a high school theology teacher with an M.A. in theology. She is floored when I tell her this. "We've had conversations about it, not just what's in her book. I was sure she understood it." Mom is used to working with older kids. I reassure her that this is very normal and she shouldn't feel bad. I just reiterate the importance to talk with her some more in the next week or two.<br />
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My brother has been in and out of the Catholic faith since he was a teen. Right now, he attends Mass but doesn't receive Communion or practice much beyond that. He is an amazing father who support J 100% on her faith journey. She was baptized as an infant, but only one of her godparents was Catholic. My sister doesn't attend Mass right now, so that leaves my parents and I to help J on her faith journey. My brother has always left it up to her: if she wants to keep studying the faith, she can. He will not force her to receive the sacraments.<br />
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J spends 5 days/week living in a very small town that's predominantly Amish and Mennonite. The nearest Catholic Church is about 20 miles from where she is. No one on her mom's side of the family practices any religion (to my knowledge). On the weekends, she is at my brother's and often spends about half that visit with my parents. There, she leads us in grace and attends Mass. Starting around the age of 5, she would point to the altar during the consecration and say, "When can I do that?"<br />
<br />
We talked about waiting until 2nd grade. We showed her the photos of my siblings and I receiving First Communion. Since RE classes didn't fit with her visitation schedule, my mom began home schooling her for religious instruction beginning in 1st grade. She seemed to enjoy her studies.<br />
<br />
This year was the big year. She received Reconciliation a couple of months ago. Last weekend she attended a retreat where she baked bread, make a craft depicting Real Presence, and practiced receiving Communion. All that, combined with her studies and regular Mass attendance and she's still fighting me on Real Presence. Sigh. My mom and I have failed her and the Church... or have we?<br />
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A few days before this discussion with J, I read this amazing <a href="http://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2014/04/why-cant-my-son-receive-the-eucharist" target="_blank">blog post</a>. I thought of my dad- a Byzantine Catholic who switched to the Roman Rite around age 7 or 8 when his parents made the decision to switch. He received all 3 Sacraments of Initiation as a child. I thought of those 3 years of J asking for when she could receive the Eucharist. Would she have ever doubted if we had just been able to say, "That's Jesus. Would you like to receive Him next weekend?"<br />
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I could go on for pages, but I won't. J is a little girl who loves going to Mass. When she received her Rice Bowl, she emptied all 3 of her piggy banks (spend, save, and share- her tithing bank) into her Rice Bowl. Every time she earned money this Lent, she put all of it into her Rice Bowl. When the parish did a survey and wanted feedback from teens through adults, she spent nearly an hour trying to understand the survey and filling it out even though she's just a kid. She brought it to the pastor who agreed to take her feedback into account along with the adults of the parish because she cared so much. On Easter morning, she hustled everyone to the car in hopes of getting there in time to bring up the gifts. Her favorite song at Mass is the Alleluia. On Easter Sunday, when the opening chords of the organ rang out before the gospel, she leapt to her feet with a grin on her face, touched her hand to her heart, and sighed with contentment. So, do I have any doubt J is ready to receive Jesus in the Eucharist? No, I don't.<br />
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It took me a few days to get past this. I didn't fail J. My mom didn't fail J. The parish DRE didn't fail J. The Catholic faith failed her. Using traditional means of catechesis don't help children connect with Christ and the Sacraments. We teach to the head and not the heart. So, when I tried to speak to J's heart about the Eucharist, she just wasn't there. I think her head gets it. I don't want to insist on holding her back from the sacrament. I am sure she is not the only one who will be there next week who doesn't fully understand that Jesus is the Eucharist. I can only stand back and pray that she feels it. I can trust the sacramental graces to do their work and bring J closer to Christ.<br />
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So, what does this have to do with the purpose of First Catechists? I'm trying to show how tough it is to raise a child in the faith. J attends Mass flocked by two theologians and even we couldn't fully help her prepare for First Communion. She is only being exposed to the faith 2 days/week. She needs to live it and breathe it on a daily basis. We do our best with the time and resources we have. I am proud that she wants to stay Catholic and wants to make First Communion. Our family will continue to do the best we can for J. I'll trust J.C. to do the rest. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-60826892651050914992014-04-12T14:40:00.003-07:002014-04-12T14:40:33.289-07:00Preparing to be a CatechistCongratulations! You're expecting your 1st, 3rd, or 10th (this is a Catholic blog, after all) child. Chances are there is a lot to be done in 9 months time:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Find a pediatrician</li>
<li>Ready the nursery</li>
<li>Wash the baby clothes in Dreft</li>
<li>Take a childbirth class</li>
<li>Take a baptismal prep class</li>
<li>Start a college fund</li>
<li>Start looking at day cares/child care providers (if you'll need them)</li>
</ul>
And many other countless tasks and purchases you'll need to make to get ready for the newest addition to your family.<br />
<br />
When my friends or family members are pregnant there is lots of talking about hoping for a happy, healthy child. Sometimes there are preferences (usually by siblings of the soon-to-be-newborn) about gender. Rarely, if ever, have I had someone say, "I hope my child is a good Catholic" or "I hope my child will be a saint". And, yet, isn't that our primary goal? To help our loved ones become a saint? <br />
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To clarify, let's step back and remember that we are all called to sainthood. You heard that right. You, myself, that annoying friend who always needs a favor, and Adolf Hitler are all called to be saints. Our primary goal in life is to achieve sainthood. Now, I don't necessarily mean canonization. (Though I would make a phenomenal patron saint of nappers.) We must remember that in the Church, anyone who gets to heaven is a saint. We hope and pray that at the end of times we will find ourselves reunited with everyone who ever walked the earth. We pray for the souls in purgatory that they can make peace and earn their way to heaven as well.<br />
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How much will you do to prepare your child for a good education and success in sports or hobbies? You are probably planning on investing much time, effort, and money into these areas. That's wonderful. You should since it's important your child get a solid education and have chances to participate in extracurricular activities. But what are you going to do in those early months and years to prepare your child for sainthood? Shouldn't even more time and effort be spent in this area? And here's the great thing- faith is free. No down payment required.<br />
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Expecting parents should take the time to pray daily for their child. Take a few moments, preferably as a couple, to thank God at the beginning and end of each day for this gift of life. Ask God to show you how to raise your child to be strong in his/her faith. If you're a single parent, do this on your own or ask friends and extended family to pray with you. Prayer is the first step to becoming your child's first catechist.<br />
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Now, you need to take some time to reflect on how your practice your Catholic faith. Are you a Christmas and Easter (C & E) Catholic who goes to Mass twice a year at best? Do you go to Mass once or twice a month but not make it a priority? Do you go weekly? Or even daily? Do you pray before meal times? Do you say a rosary once a week as a family? It doesn't matter where you are in your faith journey. You need to look at it, take stock, and discern how you will integrate this new child into that practice. You also need to discern if your practice will meet his/her spiritual needs to grow close to God and prepare for sainthood.<br />
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If you don't go to Mass very often or struggle with your prayer life, parents can use these 9 months to practice discipline in their spiritual life. Your schedule is about to be turned upside down once your new addition comes into this world, so building habits now will make it easier for you to keep them up later. Even if you struggle to keep them up after the child is born, you'll at least miss them enough to try integrating them back into your life.<br />
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My advice here is simple. If you go to Mass twice a year, don't commit to going once/week right away. You'll likely fail. Build this habit slowly. Try to make it to Mass once/month. If/when you desire to go more, please do. Take stock of how you feel after Mass and how it helps you throughout the week. Much like with exercise or eating healthy, you need to see the benefits before you'll desire to continue making this a habit. See if by the 3rd trimester you can work yourself up to going 2 or 3 times/month. Likewise, if you go to Mass every week, see about adding a daily Mass once or twice a month. If you are a daily Mass goer, see about saying a decade of the rosary before or after Mass. Or attend Eucharistic adoration once/week. Look up new novenas or prayers to learn. Find little ways to "step up" your spiritual game plan.<br />
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You are helping yourself and your spouse grow closer to God. You are preparing one another for sainthood. You are praying for your unborn child which benefits him/her. You are familiarizing (or re-familiarizing) yourself with the Catholic faith. Learning what fuels you, spiritually, will help you fuel your child's spiritual life in the years to come. <br />
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The great thing about this is that these baby steps will benefit you, your spouse, and your growing family. In future posts, I'll discuss how to take your infant, toddler, and older child to Mass. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-64896405565442589512014-04-09T06:58:00.001-07:002014-04-09T11:17:11.152-07:00Samples and Help RequestYesterday I encountered an awful glitch with my First Catechist project. I am writing a series of children's worship aids to help Catholic kids connect the liturgy to their lives. To my knowledge, no program of this nature exists. Worship bulletins teach the kids the readings and, perhaps, what they mean but do not aid in that intimate encounter with Christ. I am striving to change that.<br />
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Unfortunately, my laptop (it was bought refurbished 5 years ago) decided to die. I have some tremendous folks willing to loan me older laptops to get by, for which I am VERY grateful. Unfortunately, to make this project a success I really need to purchase a good laptop and updated software ASAP. Here's where I am asking your help.<br />
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First, check out some samples of my work (below) so you can see what this project entails and get an idea for how it will help kids ages 3-12 better connect with the liturgy. These are the only samples I had saved in Google docs. Everything else is saved in MS Publisher and I cannot access it at this time. If you like what you see, please consider giving $5-10 towards my <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/86loxs">Go Fund Me</a> link. In gratitude, you will receive copies of my first 12 weeks of Liturgical Reflections for kids. Each reflection will be emailed in a .pdf and you will receive all three versions for 12 weeks (ages 3-6, 6-9, and 9-12). Dates of subscription TBD based on how soon I can get a loaner laptop with Publisher.<br />
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The idea is to print and use the reflections before Mass to help the child understand what is being discussed. If parents struggle to keep children focused, you could have them use these during the homily. It's not ideal, but better than playing with toys or doing activities not helping them understand Mass.<br />
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Liturgical Reflections (working title):<br />
<a href="http://www.pdf.investintech.com/preview/f2aff3c2-bfed-11e3-a493-002590d31986/index.html">Holy Thursday, ages 3-6</a> Unfortunately, the conversion process messed up formatting and changed one of the fonts (it was a dashed letter that kids could trace). You can still get the gist of it.<br />
<a href="http://www.pdf.investintech.com/preview/975522bc-bfee-11e3-a493-002590d31986/index.html">Holy Thursday, ages 6-9</a><br />
<a href="http://www.pdf.investintech.com/preview/c03c58b2-bfee-11e3-a493-002590d31986/index.html">Holy Thursday, ages 9-12</a><br />
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These are designed to be printed, front-to-back, on 8 1/2 by 14 paper and folded into a booklet. Parents can use a binder or scrapbook to keep and organize weekly bulletins. By participating in this program, your child will have a weekly journal of his/her relationship with Christ and understanding of the Mass. There is NO GREATER GIFT than that. <br />
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Thanks and God bless!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-49345257019395473282014-04-03T14:21:00.001-07:002014-04-03T20:41:45.956-07:00Volunteers Needed!Parents, do your children often sit through Mass entirely unengaged? How many of you have to bribe/entertain your young children with toys, coloring books, or snacks? Are you a frequent visitor of cry rooms, nurseries, and/or Sunday School classes for your little ones instead of having them in Mass with you? Do you struggle with whether or not your child is getting ANYTHING out of Mass until he/she is old enough to receive the Blessed Sacrament?<br />
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This is far from unusual nor is it anything you should feel badly about. The Church has been slow to provide spiritual materials to help your children understand and apply liturgy to their daily life. We ask parents to attend baptismal prep classes, send them on their own for 7 years, and expect their children to be engaged come 2nd grade when it's time for First Communion.<br />
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What can and should we be doing during those 7 years and in the years to follow? A lot! Have you ever seen a children's worship bulletin? I won't badmouth other companies here, but these are companies that use the Lectionary readings to make little puzzles and activities. Parishes often use these during Children's Liturgy of the Word and/or hand them out before Mass. The theory behind them is EXCELLENT. The little puzzles and games help the kids remember what the readings were and/or learn what Jesus says. Unfortunately, they do not help the children apply the readings to their faith or their life nor do they help the children unpack the meaning behind these readings.<br />
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I want to help. I am presently working on a children's bulletin series that helps your children understand the liturgical calendar, what the readings mean, and/or reflect on how to apply the meetings to their young lives. The bulletins will be for ages 3-6, 6-9 and 9-12. Ideally, children can use these before Mass to help them understand the readings. If your children are too antsy during the homily, that would be a time to utilize these though I highly recommend helping your kids sit through the homily. (More on that at a later date.)<br />
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I am rolling out samples for all of Holy Week: Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday. If you have kids in the age ranges given (or grandkids, nieces, nephews, neighbors, etc.), get in touch with me via FB, or email. If you aren't a personal friend, I have a generic email you can use: FirstCatechist@gmail.com. I will send you either hard copies or .pdf copies to print and check out for your feedback. It is my hope to spend the next 3 years writing this series and then being able to offer subscriptions to both parishes and individuals after it gets off the ground. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2374595436686740766.post-1810561869865362192014-03-28T13:18:00.002-07:002014-04-24T18:01:17.279-07:00Parents as First Catechists<span class="rubrica">What is the purpose of First Catechists? When your child was baptized, the following (or very similar) dialogue took place: </span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;"><i><span class="rubrica">Celebrant:</span> What name do you give your child? <span class="rubrica">(</span>or: have you given?<span class="rubrica">)</span><br /><br /><span class="rubrica">Parents:</span> <span class="rubrica">N</span>.<br /><br /><span class="rubrica">Celebrant:</span> What do you ask of God’s Church for <span class="rubrica">N.?</span><br /><br /><span class="rubrica">Parents:</span> Baptism.<br /><br /><span class="rubrica">Celebrant</span><span class="rubrica">:</span> You have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so you are accepting the responsibility of training him <span class="rubrica">(</span>her<span class="rubrica">)</span> in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring him <span class="rubrica">(</span>her<span class="rubrica">)</span>
up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and
our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?<br /><br /><span class="rubrica">Parents:</span> We do.</i></span><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"></span></i><br />
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After years of working in a parish setting, I can honestly say this is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, struggle for Catholic parents. They do not feel equipped to be their child's first catechist, they are not willing to serve as their child's primary catechist, and/or they don't understand how to be a catechist for their child. Many kids leave the faith between the ages of 12-18 and parents wonder why. "I took them to Mass every week and sent them to Catholic school or religious education classes. What happened?" I'm here to help!<br />
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Whether your child is kicking you in the womb during Mass, a toddler climbing all over the pews, an elementary age child poking their sibling in the rib cage during the homily, or a sullen teen who looks as if he'd rather have a root canal than be at church, I want to provide you with tools and set you up for success in serving as a catechist for your child.<br />
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Do you feel equipped to teach your child to count to 10 even though you cannot do long division? Are you confident in teaching the ABC's even though you rely on spell check every day? If you can mumble your way through the Our Father, you are ready to be a catechist. You don't need a degree in theology, have the Catechism memorized, or be a daily Mass goer. You simply need to have a willingness to share what you do know about your faith with your child and be willing to grow alongside him/her. Are you ready? Good. Me too.<br />
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Through posting various talks, handouts and curricula I have written as well as writing blog posts, I hope to give you some ideas and tools to share the Catholic faith with your child. I will also share links to some of my favorite resources. I want to help your family live a rich faith life so you can watch your child grow in wisdom, age, and grace. <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0